


Code Blue

by whiteyuki (winterletters)



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fainting, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Conditions, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-18
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2018-08-23 12:58:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 26,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8328841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterletters/pseuds/whiteyuki
Summary: Sunggyu can't be angry for long periods of time, his heart doesn't allow it. But when one of his members makes him loose his temper, what will he find within himself?





	1. Argument

The group of young boys entered the dorm right after their manager. They were sure they were in trouble. Of course, after the scene in the variety show they were certain the topic wasn’t going to drop until something more scandalous happened.

The boys lined themselves before their manager and lowered their gazes.

“I hope you understand what you did today,” their manager said annoyed. “I’ll go and see what I can do with this. In the meantime, stay put. Don’t try to do anything more stupid than what you did today.”

“Yes, sir,” the idols answered ashamed.

The manager took his jacket and went to the door. “You better keep them in place Sunggyu,” he stated while staring at the leader.

Flustered, the boy responded “I will, sir,” he said before bowing to him.

The manager left the dorm without acknowledging the gesture.

Right after the door closed, Sunggyu spun on his heel and glared at his member. “What the hell was that?” he demanded.

The others just shared knowing looks before their eyes laid on the youngest member; the maknae only staring wide-eyed at the leader.

“Sungjong, what were you thinking at the interview?” Sunggyu asked.

The maknae avoided the leader’s piercing gaze. “Nothing,” he muttered.

Sunggyu was fuming but kept his voice controlled. “Nothing?” he responded. “And do you expect me to believe that?”

Sungjong turned his head toward his leader and glared, furious at him. He was shaking because of his anger. “I don’t care If you believe me or not,” he replied.

The rest of the member stared at the youngest, unable to believe that he had the nerve to answer the way he did. The tension in the room was escalating to the point where it could be sliced with a knife.

Sunggyu’s shocked demeanor lasted for a couple of seconds before he recovered his composure. He had to calm himself. “Listen to me, you can’t just go and do as you please,” he said.

“Oh, me? And what about you then, huh? Are you the only one that can act on its own accord?” he said with obvious sarcasm in his voice.

“You know very well what I do during the broadcast,” Sunggyu responded, still trying to control his temper.

Sungjong wasn’t impressed. “Yes, trying to bring attention to yourself while bashing the rest of us,” he retorted.

“Everything I do is for the team,” Sunggyu answered, his voice getting a little higher.

“Of course, now everything is about us, not you,” Sungjong replied in a mocking tone.

Sunggyu didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he closed his eyes and attempted to control his breathing, which had accelerated.

The rest of the members saw this and tried to control the maknae who was seething at the oldest. But the youngest ignored them and shouted. “See? He is not contradicting me. It is true what I said!”

“Sungjong, control yourself,” Dongwoo warned.

“Or what? Are you going to tell the leader?” he mocked.

Sunggyu, who was trying his best to control himself, got annoyed by this comment. “Hey! You have no right to speak about me like that. I’m your leader and your hyung, so show me some respect!”

“I only respect those who deserve it.”

“MAKNAE!” Hoya shouted.

“Don’t meddle,” Sungjong barked.

“You little-“

“QUIET!” Sunggyu yelled, finally loosing it. “You are in no position to speak to us like that, gentleman. You should know that by now.”

“Hyung,” Myungsoo pleaded. “Can’t we just-“

“I SAID QUIET!” the leader shouted glaring at his members. The others only stood in their places petrified and frightened by their hyung’s tone.

Sungjong stood his ground. “You think you are funny, making all of us look like idiots compared to you,” he accused. “And when we bother you during a broadcast you make yourself the victim and charge against us backstage. Do you think this is a game?” he asked seething.

“Sungjong-ah, please, stop this,” Sungyeol entreated, wanting to stop this argument before it turned into something more serious.

“NO! I’m done been his servant!” the boy yelled while pointing at the oldest. “I’m done been his dummy. I’m so tired of him thinking he can do whatever he pleases because he is the leader and the oldest!”

Sunggyu only observed the boy rant until he finished. “Are you done?” he inquired, his voice wavering. Sungjong said nothing. “If you are done, then leave,” he said finally, his tone dripping contempt in every syllable.

Sungjong faltered, unable to believe his ears. “What?” he asked baffled.

“I said, leave.” His voice was low but menacing.

There was a shocked silence among those in the room. The only thing that could be heard was the buzzing of the heater and the ragged breathings of the leader.

Sungjong stared at Sunggyu for a full minute before smirking. He then started to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. “Look,” he said, unable to hide the hurt in his voice, “always doing whatever you want.”

The youngest glared at the oldest hyung once more before silently heading for the door. Without looking back he exited the dorm and slammed the door.

No one dared to speak, not with the leader fuming like that.

Myungsoo finally mustered a little of courage and whispered, “I’ll go after him.” He then left the dorm rapidly searching for their youngest dongsaeng, hoping he wasn’t doing something stupid.


	2. Anger

I was boiling in the inside. I didn’t care if Sunggyu was punished because of my actions, but despite my anger, I was aware that anything I did at the moment would be reflected in the team as a whole, not only him. So I ended up running to the roof.

Once there I searched for something I could use to relieve my stress, anything. I found a rock and I threw it to the wall near the door as strongly as I could. _Why is he always acting like that?_ The rock hit the concrete and fell. It annoyed me how my efforts ended in the floor. _I hate him!_   I picked up the rock and threw it towards the wall again and again for a couple more times until I got tired. I sighed and headed towards the wire fence. There I laid down and closed my eyes.

The night wind started blowing. The cool air felt great for my body; it also helped to clear my mind. I opened my eyes and sat down. I hadn’t really noticed how pretty the city looked the moment I came up here, with all the lights and nightlife. It looked so relaxing…

After the anger had cooled I had no idea what was I supposed to feel. Angry at Sunggyu-hyung for always acting as he wishes? Hurt because he dismissed me without regarding of my feelings? Ashamed because I didn’t consider the problems the rest would go through because of my actions?

While I was pondering my emotions I heard the sound of the trapdoor opening. I turned my head and saw that Myungsoo-hyung was heading my way. I was glad he was coming. I didn’t want to deal with my thoughts at the moment. Myungsoo took a seat right next to me.

“Are you okay?” he asked looking at me.

_Funny, after been thrown like garbage in front of everyone are you really asking me that?_

“Yes,” I replied shortly.

“You know you can always talk to me, right?” he asked.

“Yes, I know,” I said without looking at him.

“And?” he asked, again.

“I’m fine,” I muttered.

Myungsoo sighed at my answer and turned around to see the city. After a moment he said, “You know? I understand why you reacted the way you did with Sunggyu-hyung.” _Oh, really?_ “But I also understand why he acts that way,” he finished.

_Just what I needed._

I attempted to stand up but Myungsoo grabbed my hand and pulled me down again. I glared at him and said, “If you are only going to defend him then I’m leaving.” I tried to break free from his grasp but he tightened his grip.

“Did you listen to what I said?” he asked frowning.

“Yes, that you are siding with him,” I retorted.

“Then you weren’t listening,” he said sounding disappointed.

I finally pulled my arm free and stood up, but for some reason, I didn’t leave as I had planned. Instead, turned towards the city and grabbed the wire fence with both of my hands. I let my forehead rest on them while I enjoyed the fresh air that kept blowing. Myungsoo remained seated. None of us spoke for a moment.

“I’m just tired of his behavior,” I said breaking the silence.

“Then why don’t you speak with him?” he said without looking at me.

I sighed. “He never listens.”

“How do you know?” he asked finally turning towards me. “Have you tried to talk to him before?

“No,” I said regretfully.

“See?” he said while standing up. “He had the right to get angry. You kind of sold him to the media.” He grabbed my shoulder and gave it a squeeze trying to cheer me up a little. “Everyone else was a little mad at you, not only him,” he added.

I tensed up at the words. “Were you?” I asked turning and looking at him in the eyes.

“Kind of,” he answered simply.

“I’m sorry,” I said lowering my gaze embarrassed.

“I know you are,” he said while turning my body to make me face him. He grabbed my chin and forced me to look him in the eyes again. “And I also know you are going to learn something great after all this is over.” He then smiled at me.

There was a faint sound of sirens, they were approaching, but I dismissed the thought carelessly.

_I’m scared._

“What if he doesn’t forgive me?” I asked timidly.

“He will. He is not as mean as you think,” Myungsoo answered pleased.

“But-“

Just at that moment, Myungsoo-hyung’s cell phone started ringing.

Myungsoo pulled out his phone and saw the ID, “Dongwoo-hyung,” he muttered. He looked at me one more time smiling before answering the call. I was about to smile him back when I saw him frown. The smile slid off his face and got replaced by a shocked expression.

Without any warning, he took my hand and pulled me to the trapdoor.

“What’s happening?” I asked confused. We were running at full speed now.

“Something is wrong with Sunggyu-hyung,” he shouted not reducing his pace at all.

_Something happened?_

The moment we arrived at the door of the dorm we could only see one thing, chaos. Paramedics were everywhere shouting orders at each other. I entered the dorm rapidly searching for one thing: Sunggyu-hyung. But when I found him, I couldn’t believe my eyes.


	3. Dorm

After Myungsoo left, Hoya glazed at Sunggyu warily before he approached and touched his shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

“Why did you do that?” Dongwoo asked, concerned for the maknae’s well-being.

Sunggyu was getting tired and his breathing was getting labored. “Just let him leave,” he replied weakly. He shrugged Hoya’s hand and directed himself towards the kitchen table.

“You shouldn’t have treated Sungjong that way,“ Woohyun said reproachfully, following his leader to the kitchen.

“And what? Let him act irresponsibly in front of the public?” he retorted. The oldest pulled out a chair and took a seat heavily. His back was hurting him, but he didn’t know why.

Hoya placed himself behind the leader and started massaging his shoulders. He could see the stress Sunggyu had been bearing for the last couple of weeks. That is why he wasn’t judging his reaction, yet he couldn’t help but feel worried for his youngest member. Sunggyu felt his back burning at his dongsaeng’s touch, but at the same time, he felt it comforting.

Woohyun took a seat directly in front of Sunggyu and observed his face. Sunggyu was resting his head in his hands with his eyes closed; his breathing still labored. Woohyun reached one of his hyung’s hands tentatively and said, “Hyung, you should speak to Sungjong properly.”

The oldest glazed his dongsaeng for a second before closing his eyes again. He had no energy to argue anymore. His face was getting paler with each passing second. On top of that, he felt a headache coming.

Sungyeol, who had remained quiet the whole time, finally approached the kitchen where the rest of the members were discussing. Only Dongwoo remained behind, still upset with the treatment Sunggyu had given to their maknae, but afraid of angering him further. He was going to have a talk with him, later, when he had cooled down a bit.

Sungyeol kneeled right next to the Sunggyu. He wanted to slap some sense out of his leader but stopped himself when he saw the eldest’s condition.”Hyung?” he asked worriedly. “Are you okay?”

Gradually, the rest of the members started noticing Sunggyu’s sudden condition. “Hyung?” they asked concerned. “Are you all right?”

“I just need to sleep,” he responded before standing up. Sunggyu attempted to move towards his room but missed his step and collapsed to the floor. Hoya, who was still holding him, was taken off guard but managed to position himself below his leader before he touched the floor, lessening the fall. Watching this, the others rushed to their leader.

“Hyung! Are you all right?” Sungyeol asked wide-eyed.

“What happened?” was all Woohyun could say before the situation.

Sunggyu was having serious trouble breathing. He clutched his chest tightly and closed his eyes shut. Hoya held Sunggyu to his chest, still massaging his arms, trying to make the oldest feel better.

“What happened?” Sungyeol asked again getting desperate while looking at his fallen leader.

“Call the manager,” Woohyun said to no one in particular. Dongwoo, who was the closest to a phone obliged right away.

Meanwhile, Hoya was struggling to make Sunggyu react. He started to shake him as gently as possible; fearing that too much force would affect the leader negatively.

Sunggyu’s body was aching terribly, his back was in so much pain, and so were his head and now his chest. He couldn’t think properly. All he could feel was fear. He was terrified because he had never felt anything like what he was going through at the moment. He started shivering. He could barely breathe, let alone talk.

“It hurts… my chest,” he finally said feebly.

“Hyung...” Sungyeol said, his eyes welling up with tears. “I know it hurts, but you need to hang in there.”

“Try to breathe slowly,” Hoya interjected. He feared Sunggyu would stop breathing at any moment.

“Hyung!” Woohyun said looking at Dongwoo, “What did he say?” he asked, referring to their manager.

“He said we should call an ambulance. I already did that,” he added before his dongsaeng could say anything.

Sungyeol heard that and quickly directed his attention back at Sunggyu. “Did you hear that, hyung? Help is coming,” he said, his tears finally falling. “You’ll be fine soon.” He held one of Sunggyu’s hands; that was the only thing he could do for the leader.

Sunggyu’s breathings were getting weaker and Hoya was getting more anxious. “Hyung, please, be strong,” he pleaded, his own eyes welling in tears.

Those minutes seemed like an eternity for the present members. They could do nothing while his hyung suffered. They wished they could take some of the pain away from him but it was impossible.

After what felt like a lifetime, there was a knock on the door. Dongwoo dashed towards the door and opened it. The rest occurred in a blur.

A group of paramedics rushed to the fallen boy and started to treat him. He had finally stopped breathing so they had to start the CPR on him.

Sungjong appeared at the entrance of the dorm; Dongwoo had called Myungsoo just before the paramedics arrived. The maknae could only watch in horror how the team tried to restart his hyung’s breathing. This made him feel extremely guilty and ashamed of himself. Why had he acted the way he did?

At last, the medical team led Sunggyu to the entrance of the dorm complex and loaded him into the ambulance; Woohyun boarded it as well. The rest of the boys could only watch as the vehicle turned the corner and wait until the sirens sounded no more. They stayed inside the complex until the manager arrived to fill the van and headed to the hospital; the uncertainty of the future eating them away.


	4. Diagnostic

The journey to the hospital was a living hell. Every one of us was consumed by fear. How wouldn’t we? Our leader almost dies in front of us at the same place we live. _And it was all my fault._

Upon reaching the hospital, we were led by two kind nurses to a private waiting room; the company had pulled some strings in order to avoid making the matter public. The moment we arrived we saw Woohyun-hyung, the only one that had accompanied Sunggyu-hyung to the hospital.

He was pallid and staring at the empty space. He gave us a quick peek when we entered but he redirected his gaze to the emptiness. The rest of the members walked over to him to make sure he was okay. I wanted to go as well, but I was afraid he would hate, _they_ would hate me, for what happened to Sunggyu. Apart from the short conversation I had with L after the argument, no one had actually directed their word to me. That is why I headed to the other side of the waiting room. I did not sit though; I guess this was my punished for the moment. I was exhausted, but I considered this a little act of penitence, even if it meant nothing for the others. Our manager wasn’t in the room with us. He was trying to find out what was wrong with our leader before they told us anything.

Dongwoo was softly comforting Woohyun while Myungsoo whispered sweet nothings into Sungyeol’s ears. He was still shocked, but at least not crying anymore, just hiccupping. I was observing the guys' interactions when Hoya’s eyes locked into mine. I thought he was going to frown at me, but he didn’t. _He smiled at me_. I was so touched by that small gesture that I thought I was going to cry…

That’s why I nearly screamed when the door opened, revealing an old looking doctor in a white gown, our manager tailing behind. The rest of the members directed their gazes towards the newly arrived. Hoya gave me one last look before doing the same. Lastly, I directed my gaze towards the elderly doctor. I scrutinized both the doctor and our manager trying to decide whether the news was good or bad, but it was impossible as it seemed their faces had turned to stone.

Finally, after gathering all our concerned looks the doctor spoke. “My name is Kang Youngmin. I am in charge of Kim Sunggyu-ssi’s case.” His voice was surprisingly deep. He then said what all of us were dying to hear. “Sunggyu-ssi is now out of danger.”

That sole sentence was enough to break our defenses.

Sungyeol started crying again in L’s shoulder; him trying to soothe the older hyung while shedding tears himself. Hoya put his face in his hands and started sobbing in them. Woohyun turned around and started to whip his tears furiously. Dongwoo was the only one that wasn’t crying, but his eyes were shining with tears. I, on my part, felt so relieved that my legs were suddenly unable to support my weight and I collapsed on the nearest chair. I felt an emotion greater than anything I had felt before. Sunggyu-hyung was alive. He was going to survive. _I didn’t kill him._

The doctor waited patiently until all of us had calmed down, our manager did too. After the excitement of Sunggyu’s survival had lapsed, a new question raised among us. _What happened to Sunggyu?_

It seemed that doctor Kang could read our minds because he started explaining the moment all of us turned to face him again. “Sunggyu-ssi had a cardiopulmonary arrest, also called heart attack,” he said.

All of us were struck speechless, only staring wide-eyed at the doctor.

 Doctor Kang continued with, “The cause was that his heart had a severe spasm which causes the coronary arteries, who are the ones that deliver oxygen to the heart, to close. This deprives the heart from receiving oxygen from the blood…”

The doctor stopped talking when he saw all our blank faces. I guess none of us really understood the process of what had happened, and honestly, I couldn’t care less about it either. The only words that mattered were _‘heart attack’_.  

“Why did it occur to Sunggyu-hyung?” Woohyun ventured nervously. That did matter to me so I looked up to the doctor expectant.

“Sunggyu-ssi’s particular case is rather uncommon. The attack was caused by a strong emotion. I’m sure you all know that Sunggyu-ssi has a weak heart, right?” he asked. All of us nodded our heads. “Well, with all the activities you have, Sunggyu-ssi must have felt stressed, to the point of burdening his heart with it. We believe the process started a couple of days ago, but the ‘last straw’ occurred tonight. Luckily, you contacted us quickly and we were able to act in time, so there is no permanent damage to his heart.”

I frowned. How could the process start a couple of days ago? As far as I know he showed symptoms until tonight.

Doctor Kang saw our confused looks and added, “A heart attack doesn’t need to have symptoms for it to occur, that’s why it is important to be aware of one’s body all the time. Even a small matter can turn into a huge problem if not taken care of it properly.” With that he smiled to us. “Sunggyu-ssi is resting in a private room right now. If you want to see him just ask your manager to take you there,” he said. “But I’ll tell you, it is highly improbable of him waking up today, so don’t you worry.”

With that he turned and said something into our manager’s ear. The rest of us stood up and bowed to him, thanking him for his work. He looked back at us and nodded. Finally, he exited the room.

Once we were alone our manager directed his attention towards us and told us to follow him. I knew he was going to take us to hyung’s room, but I wasn’t ready. Not yet.

The others stood up and followed the manager except for me. Hoya-hyung saw me hesitating and approached me.

“Come with us,” he said kindly.

_I can’t._

“I’m a little bit tired. I will stay here to rest,” I lied.

He frowned at that. “You can rest in hyung’s room.”

_I can’t go there. I’m not welcomed._

“Hyung, don’t worry about me,” I said softly.

He looked at me in the eyes, as I looked into his.

I was trying to convey my message, but he was trying to read my interior.

_“No one is going to scold you.”_

I froze.

_How did he know?_

“Sungjong-ah, come.” He proceeded to take my hand and drag me out of the waiting room to where Sunggyu was sleeping. I was so shocked that I didn’t try to resist him.

We walked through a long corridor until we finally reached a door.

**413 – Kim Sunggyu**

_This is it._

Hoya opened the door. I was shaking violently.

_They will hate me._

Hoya-hyung sensed my fear, so he turned around a placed his hands in my shoulders. I was almost hyperventilating.

_I shouldn’t be here._

I could feel tears welling in my eyes. I started shaking my head.

_I can’t do this._

I stared at Howon’s eyes pleadingly. I shouldn’t be here. Please, don't make me go. _Please._

He must have seen something in my eyes because he only sighed, dropped his hands and turned around. I was scared he was going to force me in, but he just turned his head to look at me. “Whenever you are ready,” he said. With that he entered the room and closed the door behind him. I was left standing alone in the empty hallway watching the door tightly shut.

_I’m not ready._


	5. Broadcast

We exited the waiting room and followed our manager through a long corridor until we reached the door of a room. I was a little bit surprised to see that Gyu-hyung’s name was already posted on it.

“I am going to return to the company now,” our manager said. “I have to sort some things out. Stay in the hospital until I come tomorrow to pick you up.”

“We will,” Dongwoo-hyung responded.

Our manager nodded at him and added, “I leave them under your care.”

“Okay. I’ll take good care of them,” he answered while bowing.

Our manager gave us one last look before he turned around and left.

I was so excited that I would finally be able to see hyung. I eagerly opened the door and came into the room.

There he lay; sound asleep in the hospital bed. He had an IV drip attached to his left hand and an oxygen mask on his face. I guess they still needed to supply him with oxygen. I directed myself towards the bed and took a seat in the stool situated next to it. The rest positioned themselves around the bed as well, careful of not disturbing Sunggyu’s sleep. Sungyeol started caressing Gyu-hyung’s hair. Dongwoo grabbed his right hand and began stroking it with his thumb. Myungsoo took a seat on the foot of the bed, only staring at the sleeping figure. I grabbed Sunggyu’s left hand, careful of the needle, and watched him intently. His face was still a little bit pale, but better than before. What made me happy was to watch how his chest rose with every breath. It was so different than in the ambulance when he wasn’t breathing.

I was so mesmerized with that motion that it surprised me when I heard the door opening again. I looked up and saw that Hoya was entering to the room. Apparently, I had been so concerned with Sunggyu’s well-being that I hadn’t realized that he hadn’t come with us. I scanned the room where we were at. No sign of Sungjong. I frowned.

Hoya came near the bed and stood next to Myungsoo. The latter looked up at the former expectant. Howon shook his head and Myungsoo seemed saddened about it. I guess it had to do something with Sungjong since he was the only one not present.

I sighed involuntarily. Just one mistake and look what it caused.

 

 

_It was our last schedule for the day. All of us were tired, but we had to go on anyway. At least, the next job wasn’t that hard. We were just going to record an interview for a segment in a broadcast and then we were free to leave._

_We were getting ready in the dressing rooms as always. The coordinator noonas finished retouching our makeup so we just had to wait. From the corner of my eye, I could see the others doing their own thing. Sunggyu-hyung was dozing off as always. Hoya had his eyes close while moving his body to the rhythm of whatever he was listening to on his mp3. L was staring at the empty space, lost in his own little world. Sungyeol was texting with someone, probably Niel. Dongwoo-hyung was reviewing his journal, apparently checking his ‘To Do’ list. And Sungjong… was not in the room._

_I looked around and searched for him, but he was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he was in the bathroom. As if on cue, Sungjong entered the waiting room and seated in his chair. He had a book in his hand but he wasn’t reading it. Instead, he was staring at Sunggyu-hyung._

_I wouldn’t have cared about it if I hadn’t noticed the hostility in his look. I knew he had had a fight with Gyu-hyung in the morning, but I didn’t expect him to continue been mad. I was watching Sungjong intently, trying to figure out what was going on through his head, when the PD came in and told us it was time. All of us stood up rapidly, the last been Sungjong I noticed, and gathered in the door. The PD then led us to the stage where we would be doing the interview. We greeted the public and the MCs and took a seat in the chairs they had placed for us._

_During the beginning of the recording, we answered the questions the MCs directed towards us. Even if our answers were planned beforehand, we tried to add tidbits of truth in them to make the interview more sincere._

_In the 45th minute mark, 15 minutes to finish the interview, the female MC asked us how was our cooperation within the group. Sunggyu-hyung started with the typical ‘we have our arguments but we always solve them fast.’ The members continued with their own versions of the ‘communication is the best way to avoid misunderstandings’ and stuff like that. When it was time for Sungjong to answer, I got nervous, but I didn’t know why._

_“Actually, our team is really good at solving its problems,” he began. “Normally, we agree on many things.”_

_“That’s a good thing then, to know you are not only synchronized on stage but out of it as well,” the male MC complimented._

_“Yes, but normally, it is only one of the members the one that causes all the trouble,” Sungjong stated boldly._

_I was taken by surprise with this. It seemed that the MCs were as well. The male MC looked at the public and jokingly said, “who do you think it is?” The public immediately responded with the names of every member on the group._

_The female MC saw Sungjong, now with full interest, and asked, “who would this person be?”_

_The rest of the public was still making a lot of noise so Sungjong held his hand for them to quiet down. Unexpectedly, they did. The rest of us were still stunned at the sudden turn of events, dreading what could come next depending on the youngest answer._

_Sungjong remained quiet for a couple of seconds more to increase the suspense before responding “it is no other than our leader Sunggyu!”_

_I couldn't believe my ears. He actually said that, in public. Was he crazy? Wasn’t he thinking?_

_For the next couple of minutes, Sungjong went on explaining why Sunggyu was a bad leader, while the rest of us tried our best to diffuse the matter, laughing and pointing at each other. Sunggyu was doing his best to redirect the conversation to another topic. But all of our efforts were useless. Sungjong was way too excited spilling the beans, in many occasions exaggerating the truth. And to make things worse, the female MC kept throwing us extremely hard questions viciously._

_It seemed that the male MC finally noticed our frightened faces because he ended the conversation and changed the topic. The female MC looked disappointed but had to stop her questioning nonetheless. Our members and I were all relieved that it was over, but Sunggyu still looked shocked about it all. On the other hand, Sungjong was beaming. It pissed me off._

_The rest of the interview happened without further incidents. The recording finally concluded, much to our relief. We saluted, bowed, and left the stage. The moment we reached our waiting room and saw our manager’s face we knew we were in trouble._

_Apparently, someone had already uploaded a fancam. It showed the entire ‘cooperation’ segment, starting from Sunggyu’s answer and ending in the intervention by the male MC. Our manager took Sungjong out while we read the comments._

 

I knew Sunggyu wasn’t a good leader. Just look how long it took for Infinite oppas to get to where they are right now! They deserve so much better:(

 

Never liked him. Not since their YAMO era

 

He can’t even sing that well! Woohyun-oppa can easily fill his spot

 

It’s true! I saw their Weekly Idol episodes and every time Sunggyu was removed, they danced perfectly!

 

_Hoya closed the laptop where we were reading the comments angrily. The rest of the members started voicing the unfairness of it all. I stole a glance at Sunggyu-hyung and saw that he was pale and extremely vexed. Right then, our manager came in and told us to pack up our stuff and meet him in the van. The moment he left, Sungjong entered the room and started packing his things silently. His face was expressionless and his movements mechanic. At the same time, I wanted to scream at him and demand him to explain, I also knew he wouldn’t have done what he did without a reason. With that in mind, I picked up my stuff and followed the members, hoping that nothing wrong came upon us._

 

 

I sighed and looked at Gyu-hyung one last time before I stood up and headed to the door. Just as I was about to reach it, I felt someone grabbing my hand. I turned around and met Myungsoo’s confused look.

“Where are you going?” he asked, the rest of the members observing from behind curiously.

I sighed. “I just want to put an end to this,” I answered wearily.

“He doesn’t want to come,” said Howon dejected.

“I will not bring him here,” I responded. “I just want to talk."

“He will not speak to you either. I tried that before,” Myungsoo added dispiritedly.

“I’ll see what I can do then,” I said. I then grabbed Myungsoo’s hand and pulled it away from mine carefully. Myungsoo looked at me one more time before returning to the foot of the bed.

I turned around and opened the door. I exited it and started closing it until I heard a faint ‘good luck’. Sungyeol. I smiled and closed the door completely.

Apparently, despite his rash behavior in the broadcast, the rest of the members seemed ready to forgive him. I could see them worrying deeply about Sungjong, and that made me happy. In that moment I felt so proud of my team that I felt my chest exploding with pride.

 _We will get out of this mess together,_ I said to myself. And for the first time in the night, I actually believed it.

 


	6. Truth

Woohyun directed himself towards the hospital rooftop. He had spent the last thirty minutes wandering through of the building, asking every nurse and opening every accessible door, looking for Sungjong. So the roof was the only place he was missing, and he seriously prayed Sungjong was up there because he wasn’t going to be able to explain to the managers his absence.

 Woohyun reached the last step and was about to open the door when something called his attention. There was a muffled sound coming from the other side of the door. Woohyun strained his hearing to listen to the sound better. It was… whimpers?

The young idol grabbed the doorknob and twisted it slowly to open the door just a bit. He then poked his head and searched for the source of the sound, but he couldn’t find it. _It must be in the back_ , he thought. So he proceeded to exit the trapdoor and close it as quietly as he could.

The place was full of white sheets, all hung to dry up. The night was windy and the climate was so cold that it sent chills down Woohyun’s spine.  This made him feel extremely anxious for his youngest dongsaeng.

There was a lamp that provided a little bit of light, but Woohyun still moved as carefully as he could to the back of the terrace were the noise sounded stronger.

Just as he expected, Sungjong was there.  The maknae was curled up in a ball, his face buried in his knees and his arms around them. His body was shivering violently and  he was whimpering loudly; up close it could be heard really quiet sniffs. The sight of Sungjong pained Woohyun’s heart deeply. _What had he done to deserve something like this?_

The moment Woohyun started approaching, Sungjong felt his hyungs presence. He turned his head so fast that it startled the older one; his eyes were bloodshot and there were tear tracks in his flushed face. Sungjong kept staring at Woohyun with his eyes wide, as if measuring his every move. This made the latter feel extremely uncomfortable, so he continued approaching with caution now.

When he was finally at an arm’s length distance, Woohyun kneeled next to the maknae to be at eye level with him, the youngest only observing him. Woohyun lifted his hand and attempted to pat the other’s shoulder but the maknae flinched involuntarily at the movement, and inadvertently, started crying silently again.  Watching this made Woohyun’s heart ache even more. He lowered his hand and bit his lip.

“Leave,” the maknae said, his voice quavering.

“I am not going to hurt you,” Woohyun answered softly. He wanted to embrace the other so much but refrained himself in fear of upsetting the other.

“You hate me,” Sungjong said, tears running faster now. “You- you don’t want me in- the team anymore.”

“Don’t say that,” Woohyun rebuked. “No one wants you off. And no one hates you,” he said kindly.

Sungjong shook his head. “You are lying.”

Woohyun bit his lips again, his own eyes welling up with tears. Before he could stop himself, he grabbed Sungjong’s arms and brought him closer to his body, wrapping his arms around him tightly. Sungjong, who was taken off guard, started struggling in his hyung’s clasp.

“LET GO!” he shouted trying to free himself.

Woohyun ignored him and instead tightened his embrace. The boy started kicking and hitting his hyung however he could, but the latter didn’t budge. The only thing Woohyun could feel was guilt, for pushing the other to feel at fault about everything. The maknae cried his heart out and struggled while Woohyun only endured.

They remained like that for a long time until Sungjong tired himself out and finally went limp in his hyung’s grasp, only sobbing lightly. By now, Woohyun’s tears were on the verge of falling. No one said anything, but Woohyun kept Sungjong tightly to his chest until he calmed down.

“Why are you here?” Sungjong asked, his voice hoarse because of crying.

“No one should be alone at this time,” he responded. “ _Especially when there is no reason to be alone.”_

“I almost kill him,” Sungjong murmured, holding back tears again.

“Hey,” Woohyun said while tilting Sungjong’s head up slightly to look into his eyes. “Nothing of what happened to Sunggyu today was your fault. You heard the doctor right?” he asked.

Sungjong nodded a little. “He was- like that already,” he whispered.

“Exactly,” Woohyun said softly while wiping his tears. “It had nothing to do with you.”

Sungjong removed his head from Woohyun’s hold to look at the floor again. “But I contributed,” he said depressed. “He will never forgive me.”

“Sungjong-ah, Sunggyu is not that mean,” Woohyun said.

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” he questioned a little bit annoyed.

“Maybe because we know Sunggyu hyung,” Woohyun responded thoughtfully.

“I don’t know,” Sungjong said dejected.

Woohyun chuckled a little and repositioned himself so that Sungjong could settle more comfortably.

“Do you know why Sunggyu hyung pressures you so much?” Woohyun asked.

Sungjong stared at Woohyun for a moment before shaking his head.

“He does that because he is jealous,” he answered amused.

“Jealous?”

Woohyun nodded while smiling.

“Of what?” Sungjong asked confused.

“He is jealous of your youth and your talent.”

“What?” Sungjong asked skeptically.

Woohyun directed his gaze to the sky and contemplated it for a moment before looking back to Sungjong. “Sunggyu hyung believes that you have the potential to do anything you want to do. Especially considering that you are barely in your twenties, that’s the reason he pressures you the most. He wants you to be the best.” he answered.

“I-“ Sungjong was at loss of words. Never in his wildest imaginations would he think that their leader was jealous of _him_. This time, it was his turn to stare at the sky. The night was really pretty, just like before. He hadn’t realized that despite the hour, there was still a lot of life in the city. He could hear the cars passing; he could hear the people in the streets, they still sounded crowded. Just at that moment, he felt all his senses crashing down on him. When he had come up here before he had zoned out everything but now that he had calmed down, he felt overwhelmed. For the first time in the night he felt cold, not that much because Woohyun was still holding him, but that didn’t stop the shivering.

Feeling the sudden change in Sungjong’s behavior, Woohyun stood up. “Let’s go inside,” he said while pulling the maknae to his feet. The younger one didn’t resist.

 

 

Woohyun lead the maknae to the cafeteria and bought him a cup of hot chocolate. Sungjong accepted the cup and blew it a little before taking a sip. He felt how the hot liquid ran down his throat warming his body and smiled.

His hyung took a sit in front of him while holding a cup for himself. He also smiled when he saw the maknae’s reaction to the drink. They both remained in silence while finishing their drinks. The moment they were over Sungjong attempted to throw the cup but Woohyun beat him to that, taking both cups and disposing them in the garbage bin. He then returned to his place and stared at Sungjong while the other avoided his gaze.

“What are you thinking?” Woohyun asked curiously.

Sungjong took a moment to order his ideas before answering. “I still don’t understand.”

Woohyun tilted his head to see Sungjong’s face better. “What don’t you understand?”  he asked perplexed.

Sungjong raised his head to look into his hyungs eyes. “Even if he wants me to be better, isn’t he going too far?” he asked. “Why does it seem like he only likes to bully me?”

At that question Woohyun straighten his posture. He stared at the maknae for a moment before responding. “Honestly? I don’t know either,” he said plainly.

Sungjong sighed and bowed his head.

“Sungjong-ah,” Woohyun called and waited until the later looked at him. “If there is something that bothers you, speak to him. He is not going to bite you,” he said seriously.

The maknae sighed again. “I know,” he said.

“Well, if you know that,” Woohyun said while standing up. “Are you ready to go and see him now?” he asked. He then extended his hand for Sungjong to take it.

Sungjong stared at the hand before slowly raising his own. He hesitated for a moment but then he took it and squeezed it tightly. Woohyun smiled and squeezed back.

 

 

Woohyun took the maknae to Sunggyu’s room, but Sungjong stopped his hyung before he could open the door by grabbing his hand. Woohyun looked at his dongsaeng who had become restless.

“Hyung,” he said nervously. “Are you sure no one hates me?” he asked.

Woohyun chuckled and used the hand that had been gripping Sungjong’s to pat his head. “No one in there is angry. No one is going to blame this on you,” he said softly.

Sungjong glanced at his hyung once more before nodding. He then let go of his hyung’s hand to allow him to continue.

Woohyun twisted the doorknob and pushed it to open the door. Sungjong took a deep breath before stepping inside after his hyung.

 

 

The room was completely silent. The only one awake inside was Dongwoo, the others were resting. Myungsoo and Sungyeol were sleeping on the small sofa located in the corner of the room; Hoya was resting in a chair next to the window, and Dongwoo was sitting on the stool next to the bed staring at Sunggyu’s hand while the other one slept.

Dongwoo turned his head at the sound of the door and was surprised to see both of his dongsaengs coming in. The moment Sungjong closed the door Dongwoo stood up and walked towards the maknae. When Sungjong saw his hyung moving closer to him he regretted coming and instantly tried to escape but Woohyun prevented him. Dongwoo reached the youngest and without a warning embraced him in a crushing hug. “I am glad you are here,” he said, his words muffled by the other’s shoulder. Sungjong stood petrified for a couple of seconds before returning the hug.

“Sungjong?”

The trio turned their heads and saw that Sungyeol was staring at them. The maknae looked back at Woohyun and waited for his encouragement, which came in the form of a nod, to move closer to his other hyungs. Watching Sungjong approach, Sungyeol shook Myungsoo to wake him up and miraculously, the other did instantly.

Sungjong kneeled in front of Sungyeol and apologized. “Why are you apologizing?” Sungyeol asked. Myungsoo tilted his head.

“For-“ he was going to answer _‘for what happened to Sunggyu-hyung’_ but he remembered that Woohyun told him that it hadn't been his fault. “For worrying you,” he said instead. Both Myungsoo and Sungyeol smiled at the maknae and Sungyeol wrapped his arms around Sungjong and hugged him tightly while Myungsoo patted his head. Myungsoo then looked up and searched for Woohyun. The older looked back at him and them moment they exchanged glazes the younger mouthed a thank you and smiled.

Sungjong felt the warmth in his hyungs hugs and regard and felt his eyes welling up with tears again. He detached from Sungyeol’s grasp to look back at the others. From the distance he saw that Howon was looking back at him and was also smiling. This made him feel finally accepted and _forgiven_.

He couldn't take it anymore so he released the tears he was holding and bowed to his hyungs. “Thank you,” he said feeling extremely appreciated.

“Awww, don’t cry,” Dongwoo said laughing. The rest moved near the maknae and trapped him in a group hug. Sungjong started laughing as well, the rest soon to follow.

He felt extremely happy and _blessed_ of having a group of brothers so understanding and so willing to support each other. He was surrounded in love and care from all of them. Now only one was missing; Sunggyu-hyung. He was going to fix everything, he was sure of that.

 


	7. Awakening

Pain.

_It hurts. Everything hurts._

My chest is closing. I can’t breathe.

“It hurts… my chest,” I said with the last breath I had.

“Hyung,” someone said, but I couldn’t recognize who. More words were directed at me, but my head was hurting so much that I didn’t understand them.

“Try to breathe slowly,” someone said to my ear. I tried to comply but my throat was tight.

My body became numb. I was in pain and I couldn't do anything. I stopped shivering altogether. Slowly, my other senses started to shut.

Someone was talking again. I strained my hearing, the only thing I could do, and despite a migraine, I was able to decipher two words before my world turned black.

_Be strong._

 

 

I opened my eyes. I was in a prairie. There were children playing in the flowers. The sun was going down, giving the sky a beautiful orange color. They were laughing, smiling and screaming happily, and without me realizing, I was laughing as well. The atmosphere was warm and cozy.

Suddenly, the wind started blowing. The sun went down completely and the children disappeared leaving an empty hole in the landscape. The environment turned cold and I started trembling. Out of the blue, two strong arms held me from behind, binding me immobile. The arms were golden and shiny. Every place they touched became heavy. My arms. my shoulders, my chest, my heart. My knees were about to give up because of the sudden weight. I heard the person, a woman, chuckling in my ear. I tried to turn my head to look at her, but then, the wind got stronger. The woman lets go of me and I felt myself flying in the black space.

 I realized I was now in a dirty, empty room. There was someone else inside. It was a young boy, thin and pale. His skin was scarred and bloody. He was next to the only window in the room and the light obscured his face. Then, I noticed some weight in my hand, so I brought it up and saw that I was holding a whip. Immediately, the boy crouched down and started screaming, sending shivers through my spine. The walls crumbled with the shrieking and the roof fell in between us. The last thing I saw were the boy’s dark, deep eyes, staring at me before the floor gave up throwing me to the nothingness.

 

 

I opened my eyes, but I had to close them immediately to protect them from the stabbing light. I tried again slowly, this time, to get used to it. I noticed something obstructing my sight; it was transparent. _Was it a mask?_   The room where I was in was completely white, except for the flowers in the vase next to the bed. The curtains were drawn, allowing the sun rays to illuminate the room.

While I tried to take in my surroundings, the door opened and a woman came in. She was holding a clipboard. She saw me awake and smiled.

“It looks like you are finally awake, Sunggyu-ssi,” she said while coming closer.

“Where am I?” I asked, my voice muffled by the mask.

“You are in the Samsung Medical Center. You were brought here yesterday night,” she responded.

“Why?” I asked confused. _Why was I here?_

“You were suffering from a heart attack. Luckily, your bandmates called on time and we were able to save you.”

“Heart attack? Why-“ Suddenly, the memories from the day before came to my mind muting me.

The nurse observed me before asking “how are you feeling?”

I did a mental check up of my body. Nothing was hurting, but I was really tired. “I’m fine,” I said.

She nodded and proceeded to check my vitals and else. I observed her quietly while she worked.

 Once she was done, she scribed something in her clipboard before turning to look at me. “Do you need something?” she asked.

I started shaking my head but then stopped.  There was something I wanted to know. “Is no one else here?” I asked quietly.

The nurse looked at me, I guess, surprised by my question but answered “Your bandmates left three hours ago. They said they had to work but that they’ll come back tonight.”

_They were here._

The nurse kept looking at me and it made me feel a little embarrassed. “Thank you,” I said.

She stared at me a couple of seconds more before asking, “are you sure you don’t need anything?”

“Can I take this mask off my face?” I asked willing to change the mood and also because I was getting annoyed by the obstruction.

She frowned a little bit before responding, “I am afraid you’ll have to keep it for a little bit longer since we still need to deliver you oxygen. But I can speak to the doctor in charge and ask him if we can change the mask for a cannula.”

“Yes, please!” I said with excitement.

“Okay, then, I’ll be back,” she said chuckling.

She left the room and returned a couple a minutes later with another person. He was called Kang Youngmin, and apparently, he was my personal doctor. He explained to me what had happened and, between both him and the nurse, changed the mask for the cannula.

Another nurse came in with my lunch. It was a dish with a piece of chicken, rice, sweet peas, bread, and a serving of fruits.

After I have eaten and they have taken my plate, no one else bothered me giving free reign to my twirling mind. There was just too much to think about. First, what the heck was going to happen to me? The doctor had said that as long as I took care of myself, I would be fine. But, was it that simple? Then, what was going to happen with the broadcast? How were the fans reacting? How were the guys coping? _The guys._ Where were they? What was going to happen with the promotions? It had been only a couple of weeks since they started. Were they canceled?

While I drowned in my doubts a cloud positioned itself before the sun obscuring the room. That sudden change snapped me from my thought and reminded me of something. In the back of my mind I remembered the dream. What was that supposed to mean? The children laughing, the golden arms and the boy. I was sure I had seen that boy somewhere, but I couldn’t quite place him. I struggled with the figure for a little while before tiring myself.

Bored and drained from my thoughts I decided to go to sleep.

 


	8. Decisions

Jungryoul walked wearily through the empty hospital halls. It was too early for the visiting hours yet he was able to enter because of the company. After a whole night of meetings, the manager was extremely tired, but he knew there were more important things than sleeping at the moment.

He finally reached the room and sighed. After leaving to boys in the hospital he had disconnected himself from them, so he didn’t know how everything between them had ended. He just wished they had at least behaved.

The man finally brought his hand to the handle and opened the door. There, the sign that greeted him left him pleasantly surprised.

The boys had moved the couch so that it was next to the bed, instead of the stool. The three youngest were sleeping in it hugging each other. Howon and Dongwoo were lying on the floor and Woohyun was resting in the armrest with his head leaning in the bed; his hand clasping Sunggyu's. Jungryoul's heart warmed up and he smiled a little bit. But even if he wanted to the let the boys sleep, he knew he had to take them out of the hospital before visiting hours. So with all the pain in his heart, he directed himself towards the group. But before he even reached the bed, he heard a movement and realized that Sungyeol had woken up.

"Good morning," Jungryoul said.

"Good morning hyung" Sungyeol answered before yawning. "Are we leaving now?"

"Yes, we are. That's why I need you to help me wake the others" the man said while moving to the little desk located next to the bed. He took the flowers he was carrying and fixed them in the vase.

Sungyeol yawned once more before shaking Sungjong gently. He figured it was going to be better to wake the others first before attempting to revive Myungsoo.

Just as expected, everyone woke up without much effort, except the said boy. He had stubbornly remained laying on the sofa without giving hints of been alive if not for his breathing.

"Myungsoo-yah, we need to leave," Dongwoo said shaking the boy, but didn't get a response.

"Hyung, wake up," Sungjong said, opening one of L's eyes. He stirred a little but didn’t wake up.

"What if we leave him here?" Woohyun wondered. He didn't what Sunggyu to wake up alone, not after what he went through.

Jungryoul contemplated the idea before shaking his head. "I'm afraid the company representatives want to see you all," he answered.

"Well, it seems he is not going to wake anytime soon, though," Howon interjected.

“He must be really tired,” Sungyeol added looking at Myungsoo.

"Carry him," the manager said while looking at his watch. Twenty minutes before visiting hours. He didn't have time for this.

"Okay," Howon answered simply. With Dongwoo's help, they got Myungsoo on his back and Sungyeol covered him with a hoodie to conceal him. Sungjong and Woohyun fixed the room and gathered everyone's stuff.

By the time they left the room, there were only ten minutes before visiting hours and the waiting room had people already. Jungryoul sighed. _How was he going to get the group to the van without attracting too much attention?_ He looked back at the group and instantly regretted not waking Myungsoo in the room. He had to find another exit.

He turned around to face Dongwoo. "Wait here," he ordered. The boy nodded.

Jungryoul found a nurse and, after some persuasion, managed to get her help. She led them through some restricted areas until they reached the staff parking lot. He told the group to wait for him until he had brought the van back, and without listening to their response, he left.

He reached his van, and as he fumbled for the keys he could have sworn he heard a camera. He turned around and searched for the source but there was no one else in the parking lot. He looked back after finding the keys and as he opened the van he heard the noise again. This time, he went inside the car, locked the door, and out of prying eyes, sought for the origin of the sound, but again, found nothing out of the ordinary.

He would have liked to investigate further but time was ticking and he had to get the boys out of there. So he started to van and rushed to where the others were waiting. He stopped in front of the door and signaled the group. Jungryoul kept a vigilant eye, surveilling the area while they climbed the van. Again, he heard a camera snap yet nothing unusual. _‘Maybe I’m just been paranoid’_ , he thought with a sigh. Sungyeol closed the door, much to his manager’s relief, and they finally left.

 

 

This was exactly how he thought the company would react.

As soon as they had reached the company building he had rushed the group towards the CEO’s office. There, all of them were harshly scolded. Sungjong got the hardest end, obviously, and got a pay cut.

For the whole night, the company representatives had been trying to stop any articles that could harm INFINITE’s reputation from popping up as well as attempting to bring down the fancams that had already been uploaded in the internet. Furthermore, they were planning what they were going to do after all this mess, and with Sunggyu’s sudden accident, they certainly didn’t have it easy. In the meantime, Youngjun, Hyoan and Jungryoul, their managers, were been reprimanded for their poor work and lack of control.

After the boys were dismissed, Hyoan decided to take them to someplace to eat and to their dorm before their next schedule. Youngjun tried to contact Sunggyu’s family so that they could visit their son but it seemed they were out o the country at the moment, so he opted to just leave a message for them. Jungryoul, on the other hand, decided to fix INFINITE’s schedules. Now that Sunggyu was not available, some shows were going to have to be canceled. For that, he needed an excuse or an official statement.

So he directed himself towards a representative’s office and knocked the door softly. There, he waited for permission before entering.

“Good morning,” he said politely while bowing.

“Good morning,” the representative replied. “Take a seat.”

Jungryoul moved towards a chair and took a seat in front of the desk.

“What can I do for you?” the rep asked.

“I would like to know if you have an official statement concerning Kim Sunggyu’s health, sir,” he said.

“Why do you need to know that?” the other inquired.

Jungryoul hesitated a second before responding that he needed an excuse as for why Sunggyu wasn´t going to complete his schedules. He was really confused about why was he asked for a reason.

The representative contemplated for a moment and then started searching for something in the stack of papers he had sitting on the desk. When he finally found what he was looking for he directed his gaze towards Jungryoul and handed him the papers.

The manager took them and scanned the contents. They were Sunggyu’s medical diagnosis and recommendations from the hospital.

“Apparently, Sunggyu-ssi only needs a couple weeks of rest before he can return to his daily activities,” the rep said while Jungryoul read the reports. “Since the attack wasn’t because of a heart disease but because of a strong emotion, Kim Sunggyu’s case can easily be changed to a simple collapse because of tiredness.  INFINITE is in the middle of promotions so something like that has credibility.”

“But if you say he is only tired, how much time is he going to have to actually rest?” Jungryoul asked, worried about the young boy’s health.

“We’ll give him a week,” the rep stated.

“But wha-”

“As for his schedules, we have already taken care of them. We had to distribute some of them among the other members and move the date of others. Cancelling any of them is not an option,” the rep added interrupting the manager’s complaints.

Jungryoul sighed. “What is going to happen with Lee Sungjong?” he asked instead knowing that Sunggyu’s case was closed.

“That boy has received a pay cut but will continue promoting as if nothing happened. Things like this occur all the time, and if we make a big deal out of this, we will make the situation worse,” the rep replied.

 _‘Well, at least Sungjong will be fine.’_ he thought.

“Anything else?”

“Nothing sir.”

“Good. Have a good day.”

 

 

After a long day, Jungryoul was able to gather all the boys at the company, since they had divided into groups to fulfill their program. He was planning on taking them to visit Sunggyu, but they all seemed so tired so he wasn’t sure what to do. At that moment Woohyun stood up.

“Hyung,” he called.

“Yes?”

“Are we going to visit Sunggyu-hyung?” he asked. The other boys immediately wondered the same out loud.

Jungryoul smiled. “Yes, so hurry. Bring your stuff.”

 

 

The manager escorted the boys to Sunggyu’s room but decided to remain outside and give the group some time alone.

He went to the cafeteria and bought a cappuccino; the then took a seat and waited. After an hour he decided it was enough time so he got up and disposed of his cup. Just then his phone started ringing.

“Yeoboseyo?”

“Sunbae?”

“Ah, Hyoan. What’s the matter?”

“Where are you?”

“At the hospital.”

“Are the boys with you?”

“Yes, they are. Why?”

“…”

“Hyoan?”

“We have a problem.”

 

 


	9. Pressure

Sunggyu had closed his eyes for what felt like minutes when a sudden noise woke him up again. He opened his eyes and saw that someone was taking a seat on the stool next to the bed. After settling down, the person finally lifted up his head and the boy realized it was Youngjun-hyung, his manager. At the same time, the other realized that Sunggyu was awake.

“Oh! I’m sorry for waking you up,” he apologized.

“No, it’s fine,” the boy said smiling. He was just really happy to have company.

Youngjun smiled as well. “Good. How are you feeling?” he asked concerned.

“I’m fine, just a little bit tired but with a good night’s sleep I’ll be better.”

“I’m glad,” the manager said. “What have you been doing?”

“Nothing really,” Sunggyu answered shrugging. “Just eating, thinking and sleeping I guess.”

“Well, that’s good. You need to rest to get better,” Youngjun advised. The younger nodded.

After answering, both of them became silent, each engrossed in his own thoughts.

The boy then glanced at his manager and cleared his throat.

“Hyung?” Sunggyu called, breaking the silence.

“What’s the matter?”

“How is um… what did the company say?” the younger wondered timidly.

“About the incident?” Youngjun clarified.

The boy nodded. “About that, and about the others.”

“Right now Jungryoul-sunbae is fixing your schedules. As for the rest, they had a reunion with the CEO this morning,” the other said. “I’m not sure how everything ended,” he added quickly.

Sunggyu caught the lie but decided to let it slip. He knew his manager was trying not to strain him and he appreciated the thought, but he still felt guilty because he wasn’t able to be there for the other when they needed him.

“Sunggyu-yah,” Youngjun called breaking the other’s train of thought. “There is something you need to know,” he said, his face turning serious.

This made the younger’s body jerk involuntarily. “What happened?”

The oldest caught the movement and sighed. “I tried to contact your family and tried to tell them about your accident, but they didn’t answer so I left a message. Just moments before I reached your room I received the response,” he said while eyeing the boy’s expression. The other frowned.

“And what was their answer? Sunggyu asked, but somehow knowing it already.

“They won’t come,” he stated.

Sunggyu sighed and released a laugh, though it was a bitter one. He was aware that his parents were on a family trip out of the country. And when he said “family” he meant his mother, father, and noona _only_. Obviously, they weren’t going to return to Korea just because of him.

“They didn’t ask if I was fine,” he said as if stating the obvious.

Youngjun nodded. “I’m really sorry Sunggyu-yah,” he said. “But you know that if you ever need something, you can always call any of us managers,” the man added while putting a comforting hand on the boy’s shoulder. The other nodded. The boy closed his eyes and warmed into the other’s touch.  Then slowly, he moved towards his manager’s body, the other wrapping his arms around the younger until he was surrounded by them. He could feel the warmth emanating from the oldest and he was pleased.  

It was then when he realized that this was what he was wishing for since he woke up in the morning. Human contact. He wasn’t really a lover of skinship, but sometimes he just needed it. And at that moment he finally felt safe. He felt like someone cared about him. He knew he was been unfair with the others; they weren’t there with him because they were completing their schedules, not because they didn’t want to.

As the oldest he always tried to keep his emotions hidden from his dongsaengs to show them that he was s strong leader. But right there, with his hyung’s arms around him, he felt he could finally let go of himself. He felt a lump in his throat and his eyes welled up with tears. Sunggyu looked up to see Youngjun’s face and opened his mouth ready to pour everything-

A sudden knock on the door sounded startling them both. Youngjun quickly let go of the boy and got up. The younger whimpered at the sudden loss of warmth.

Without waiting for permission the door opened and a man in a dark suit entered the room. It was a company representative.

The rep stared at both and looked clearly surprised to see Youngjun in the room.

“What are you doing here?” he asked without introduction. “In 20 minutes you should be picking Lee Sungyeol, Kim Myungsoo and Lee Sungjong up and transporting them to their next schedule,” he said frowning.

“I’m sorry, sir. I’ll leave right away,” he answered flustered. He bowed and headed to the door. He glanced at Sunggyu once more before exiting and closing the door leaving the boy alone with the representative. It was something the manager didn’t want to do but had to for his and the other’s sake.

 _I’m sorry,_ he muttered before rushing to the van.

 

Back in the room, Sunggyu felt as if his safe haven had just been ripped away from him. He looked at the representative with dread. His chest was closing again, but since it was not like the last time, he ignored it. The fear of the previous day didn’t compare to the one he was feeling at the moment.

The representative stared at the boy with an impassive expression. Then he walked to the bed and stood right at its foot.

“Your schedules have been moved for exactly one week,” he said, just as abruptly as before.

“I understand,” the boy answered solemnly.

“I hope you also understand the trouble you have caused to the company,” the rep continued. “Not only were you unable to control your team members but now you have given dozens of personnel extra work to try to cover for your incompetence,” he said harshly.

The boy shrank in his bed and nodded with shame.

“You will receive a pay cut for now but it is still under debate whether you are going to continue been part of INFINITE or if you are nothing more than a stigma to the group,” he continued without consideration.

Sunggyu went cold. The severity of the situation hit him in the gut. _Was he going to be kicked out of INFINITE?_

The rep proceeded. “You will be expected to be nothing more than perfect from this moment on. Consider your position as the leader compromised as well. The fact that you are unable to understand the deficiencies in your group just proves that our decision to appoint you as the leader was a fiasco. You have failed to the public. You have failed to the company. _You have failed to the team.”_

_You have failed to the team._

Sunggyu was dumbstruck. He had failed to the team.

The rest of the scolding went unheard. Sunggyu was just too shocked to listen. He was too shocked to feel anything at all.

He didn’t realize when the representative wrapped up the reprimand. He didn’t see the man heading to the door. He didn’t hear it closing with a slam. He didn’t register the light diminishing with the passing of the hours. He didn’t notice his chest closing even more. He just didn’t acknowledge his surroundings anymore.

_You have failed to the team. You have failed to the team. You have failed to the team. You have failed…_

Some time later, the door opened once more, the lights of the room were turned on and a blur of bodies came in.

He felt someone coming closer while others yelled. He felt himself been surrounded by a group of people and he felt someone pulling him into a hug. That’s when his eyes finally focused.


	10. Breakdown

The ride to the hospital was met with excitement. Every one of us were laughing and joking, making the mood better. After a tiring day we were finally going to visit our leader. All of us felt bad because we couldn’t be with our oldest hyung until the night. We also knew that grandpa Gyu had to rest in order to get better, but that wouldn’t stop us from making him company through the night.

Of course, our manager had laid down some rules before.

  1. No yelling.
  2. Do not make a disorder.
  3. Listen to what the nurses tell us.
  4. Let Sunggyu rest.
  5. Wake up early or sleep in the dorm.



Although he didn’t say it, I knew that last rule was especially dedicated to me.  The members burst in laughter with it. I, on the other hand, only apologized sheepishly for the delay in the morning, making the others laugh harder.

 

The closer we got to the hospital the more our anticipation grew. Sungjong felt particularly motivated. I knew he couldn’t wait to see our hyung and apologize for his misconduct.

Jungryoul-hyung finally parked the van in the staff’s parking lot since he was given permission early in the morning. Immediately, we rushed out of the vehicle and into the hospital. Once we reached the room our manager told us to behave before leaving. He had mentioned that he was thirsty before so I suppose he went to grab a drink.

Dongwoo-hyung stood in front of the door and grabbed the handle. He hesitated for a second but then opened it without knocking. He was so nervous that he forgot. The room was dark but we could make out the silhouette of Sunggyu sitting on his bed. Once the others saw that they rushed past Dongwoo to our hyung’s bed while I turned on the dim lights. In their elation of watching Sunggyu awake, we failed to notice his appearance.

Everyone called Sunggyu with their own versions and pet names while surrounding him. When he didn’t answer to our calls I thought it was weird, but maybe it was because he was shocked of our arrival. I didn’t think further than that.  

Woohyun couldn’t hold himself anymore and went to trap our hyung in a hug, always careful of not hurting him.  Sunggyu finally looked up and smiled. But his smile seemed off.

“Hyung!” Sungyeol yelled causing Sunggyu a slight shiver.

“Hello,” he answered turning to look at his dongsaeng. All of us answered at once.

“How are you feeling?” Dongwoo asked.

“I’m fine,” the other replied almost mechanically. The others sighed in relief except for me. I could sense that our leader was acting a little strange, but after an experience like the one he went through, I couldn’t judge him.

“Gyu-hyung, are you tired?” Howon asked.

Sunggyu turned to look at him, and that’s when he caught the sign of the boy hiding behind the older. The confidence our maknae had felt before arriving at the hospital had popped like a balloon apparently.

“Sungjong?” Sunggyu called. All of us fell silent while we observed our youngest dongsaeng. Sungjong poked his head out from Howon’s back timidly. He remained like that for quite some time, like if he was debating what to do.

Then, without any warning, he got on his knees right beside Sunggyu and bowed startling us all.

“Sunggyu-hyung, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to create trouble. I behaved like a spoiled kid and I’m really sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you because I know I did and I’m sorry for not following your orders. I’m sorry for not understanding that what you did was always for the best of the team and I really appreciate your presence. You are the best leader INFINITE could ever have,” Sungjong said without a pause.  

Sunggyu frowned slightly.

The maknae kept rambling despite Howon’s efforts of calming him down. Sunggyu heard everything our dongsaeng had to say but didn’t utter a single word. In fact, he looked a little upset. I wondered why.

After Sungjong had finally calmed down, Sunggyu brought his hand to his chin, forcing him to look at the other in his eyes. Both of them looked intently into each other’s eyes for a few seconds before Sunggyu smiled, but it wasn’t a genuine smile. Sungjong didn’t notice it; I did and took note of it.

“Don’t worry,” Sunggyu said as he pet Sungjong’s head. “It’s okay.”

Sungjong’s eyes welled up and tears fell like a waterfall. Howon hugged him from behind while the youngest only mumbled another pack of apologies. Dongwoo put a hand on Sunggyu’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Sunggyu turned his head and found Dongwoo looking back at him with a proud expression. He hadn’t noticed the fakeness in our leader’s actions either and that worried me.

I felt like if I was watching a bad acted movie were the main character’s intentions are obvious but the others ignore them with all these interactions. _How could not one notice the strangeness in our leader?_

“How was your day?” he asked, addressing no one in particular.

The others immediately started recalling the events of the day. Sunggyu listened intently nodding every so often.  He also smiled a little, but it looked so forced that it made me cringe.

“Also, we had to go to that variety program you don’t like for a recording in the afternoon,” Woohyun answered amused. “But don’t worry, we behaved,” he added quickly.

“And you know? They complimented us! They said we were a very professional group after we danced perfectly even if we were incomplete,” Sungyeol said excitedly. I swear I saw Sunggyu’s face harden a little. Well, he just said we were perfect without hyung.

When Sunggyu turned away to look at Howon I hit Sungyeol head and put my finger on my lips to signal him not to mention that. Sungyeol looked incredulously at me for a second before directing his attention back at hyung. I’m not sure if he caught it but I hoped he did.

“Nothing happened,” Dongwoo said answering a question I didn’t hear.

Sunggyu shook his head and looked at Sungjong, who had remained quiet. “What did the company tell you?” he asked.

_Oh. It was that._

Sungjong hesitated for a second before opening his mouth. “They just said I should do better next time,” he answered awkwardly.

Truth to be told, none of us wanted to tell what had really happened so that we didn’t aggravate him.

But Sunggyu shook his head and turned in my direction. It startled me.

“Myungsoo-yah, what did the company tell you?” He asked again, demanding.

I felt myself going on defensive, I’m not sure why and I slipped into my L’s persona.

“They didn’t say anything important,” I answered back.

Sunggyu frowned, probably surprised by my tone of voice.

“Please, don’t worry about that,” Woohyun said, trying to ease the other, but Sunggyu was persistent.

“How can you tell me not to worry?” he asked, his façade faltering a little.

“What Woohyun tried to say is that it isn’t important. You shouldn’t worry about that,” Hoya intervened when Woohyun didn’t reply.

Sunggyu glared at Hoya making him retreat a little. The rest immediately tried to mollify our leader but I had had enough.

I’m not sure why I got so annoyed at Gyu-hyung but I just didn’t like the way he was treating the others when we just wanted to make him company.

“Sunggyu-hyung, what’s wrong with you?” I asked. I didn’t mean for it to sound that rude but I just wasn’t thinking that clearly anymore. I felt someone tugging my shirt but I ignored it.

“What is wrong with me? Well, let’s see. I just went through a near-death experience and now I’m stuck in this room while all of you go and enjoy yourselves now that I’m not there,” he answered hotly. “Clearly all of you are happy with all the freedom you have gained.” He added while gripping his comforter tightly.

“Don’t say that,” Woohyun reprimanded him softly.

“That’s not true!” Sungyeol yelled. He seemed to be in close to tears already.

“That’s not true? And what were you saying before? _‘They complimented us because we danced perfectly even if we were incomplete_ ’, right?” he said mockingly.

“Hyung…”

“Kim Sunggyu!” Dongwoo started. “I don’t know why you are acting like this but after finishing a tiring schedule we just-“

“If it is so tiring then just don’t bother,” Sunggyu snapped.

 _He’s going too far_.

“Don’t you realize we are just trying to be with you?” I demanded.

“Don’t make me laugh. What did Sungjong say before? _‘You are the best leader INFINITE could have’_ ,” he mocked again. “Secretly all of you are wishing me to disappear!” he yelled. His eyes were welling up with tears.

I was speechless. _From where did he get those ideas?_

“Please, we never thought that!” Sungyeol cried.

“All of you secretly hate me, I know it,” hyung said quietly this time. The tears were finally falling. My heart ached at the sight.

“We would never hate you,” Howon said trying to grab Sunggyu’s hands but the other slapped them away,

“Don’t touch me!” he yelled.

There was a faint beep in the room so I turned around and saw that hyung’s heartbeat was increasing. That filled me with fear.

Sunggyu continued ranting and all of us were petrified.

“I know you all hate me. Why would you want a failed leader?” He shouted.

_What? That’s the reason?_

Dongwoo seemed to have caught the beeping as well because he started trying to calm Sunggyu down. But our leader was having none of it.

“Hyung, what I said was true,” Sungjong said weeping.

“That’s a lie!” he yelled again.

The beeping got louder.

“Hyung!”

“You do not- need me because,” he paused. “ _I have failed to the team,_ ” he said while tears were streamed down his face.

At that moment, the door opened abruptly and doctor Kang came in, followed by two nurses.

“What happened?” he asked concerned.

“Leave!” hyung shouted.

“Please, Sunggyu-ssi, calm down,” one of the nurses said while she tried to calm Sunggyu down. Doctor Kang went to check his vitals.

The male nurse turned to look at us. “I need you to leave the room,” he said.

“But hyung-“

“LEAVE!” Sunggyu yelled again.

“Please, get out,” he ordered.

The rest of us looked unsure but obeyed nonetheless.

The last thing I saw was the nurse trying to calm Sunggyu down and failing while doctor prepared a needle.

 


	11. Prolegomenon

Howon rested his head in his hands for a second. He felt drained to the point where he could pass out right there if not for the anxiousness. With his eyes closed, he could hear everything happening in the room. Quiet sniffs, someone pacing around, someone repositioning himself and someone sighing.

He rubbed his eyes tiredly and lifted his head to observe the others. His members were devastated and it was obvious, the worst ends been Sungjong, Sungyeol and Woohyun, who were either sniffing or crying quietly. Sunggyu’s rejection was too much for them. Myungsoo was spacing out again. Sometimes Howon felt pity for the young boy, being trapped in your own thoughts all the time couldn’t be good, and especially in this kind of situations where nothing appeared to be right.

Dongwoo was pacing so near Howon that he bumped him in the knee. “Sorry,” he muttered before continuing. The second oldest hadn’t stopped walking around since they were put to wait in the room. 

Howon stared at the moving figure for a moment until another sigh called his attention. He turned his head to where his managers were seated; all of them looked beyond exhaustion. Howon felt sorry for them. They had done so much for the boys for years and now they were trapped in this mess with them, particularly Jungryoul.

Howon hung his head again and tried to stop the unpleasant thoughts from filling his mind, more specifically, unpleasant memories.

 

 

_The boys exited the room and were met with an angry-looking Jungryoul._

_“What the heck was that?” he demanded making the group of idols flinch. He looked at each of their faces and realizing that some of them were crying, he softened a bit._

_He sighed. “What happened?” he asked again, a little softer._

_The boys shook their heads. They didn’t know either._

_“Did you hear anything?” Dongwoo ventured._

_“I didn’t,” his manager answered. “I arrived a couple of minutes ago. Even though I heard some yelling, Doctor Kang came and told me to remain outside.”_

_“Oh,” was all that Dongwoo said._

_“Can you tell me what you know about what happened inside?” he asked again rephrasing his questions._

_“We were telling Sunggyu-hyung about our day when he asked us about the company’s response to the broadcast,” Woohyun responded slowly. It was proving to be a challenge for him not to break down crying. “We told him that nothing had happened but he got angry at us.”_

_“More like been angry at himself,” Howon corrected._

_“All that because you didn’t respond to him?” Jungryoul wondered. It just didn’t make any sense in his head._

_Myungsoo shook his head. “He was acting strange since we arrived,” he said earning everyone’s surprised stares._

_“What are you talking about?” Sungjong asked tilting his head._

_“His movements and expressions seemed very controlled before he started screaming,” Myungsoo responded seriously._

_Just then the door opened again and Doctor Kang exited the room. He turned to look at the group gathered at the door, obviously expecting them to be there._

_“What happened to Sunggyu, Doctor Kang?”_

_“How is Sunggyu-hyung?”_

_“What was that beeping?”_

_“Which beeping?”_

_The group showered the old man with so many questions that even he felt overwhelmed._

_“Sunggyu-ssi has calmed down now,” he said above all the noise willing them to settle down. Seeing that the others became quiet he proceeded. “We had to administer him a light sedative because he was too agitated, but now he is just sleeping.”_

_The group sighed in relief._

_Jungryoul received a text message at that moment so he took his phone to look at it while the boys explained to the doctor the events of the past hour. The message made him curse under his breath; he had been so surprised by the yelling that he forgot about the other problem._

_“We need to leave,” he said interrupting Howon._

_Everyone looked at him with disbelief._

_“We can’t leave. What about Sunggyu-hyung?”Sungyeol protested._

_The manager ignored his question and instead addressed the doctor. “I’m sorry for the abruptness but we have to leave now,” he said._

_The others voiced their protest as well, but upon seen their manager’s expression, they quieted down._

_Doctor Kang frowned. ‘_ What was so important that they had to leave in a moment like this?’ _he thought to himself. Nevertheless, he just said, “You might be interested in Sunggyu-ssi’s current situation.”_

_“I will send someone soon to receive the diagnosis, Doctor, but this is urgent. Thank you for taking care of the kid,” Jungryoul said before bowing, leaving no room for arguments._

 

 

The door to the room opened causing Howon to snap from his thoughts. Two reps came into the room. They looked almost comical for the boy, one been extremely thin and the other one really short.

“How is everything going?” Hyoan asked concerned.

“Not good,” thin rep said shaking his head. “The article has been updated again with tonight’s photos,” he said while shorty rep handed Youngjun a tablet with the dreaded article.

 

  **INFINITE’s Limit?** it read.

 

Hyoan scoffed while scanning the new information added from behind the younger manager’s back.

“They are been so unfair,” Youngjun said with indignation.

The members had already read the dreaded article before and by the update, they could imagine what the new content was.

 

 

_Jungryoul rushed through the hospital corridors with the group of boys following closely behind. He had refused to answer any questions, making the others curious to no end._

_They finally reached a backdoor, the one nearest to their van. Jungryoul stopped and turned around to look the state the idols were in. The faces of some had tear tracks and the others looked extremely troubled._

_Jungryoul bit his lower lip and moved towards the maknae, who he believed was the worst looking of the bunch, and wiped the younger’s tears silently, almost in a fatherly way. Once he was done, he moved towards Sungyeol and did the same thing. While he did that the others waited with surprising patience. They had come to learn that rushing their manager could only bring terrible consequences._

_“What’s waiting outside?” Howon asked carefully once Jungryoul was done fixing the others’ faces._

_The older shook his head. “I don’t know myself,” he answered truthfully. “But whatever it is, don’t panic and remain close,” he concluded earning nods from those present._

_Jungryoul asserted as well. He then turned around and pushed the door open._

_The group was immediately met with yells and more camera flashes._

 

 

“How is the public reacting?” Dongwoo asked moving closer to the newly arrived.

“It’s still too early to determine that. The article came late at night and most of the targeted audience should be sleeping at the moment,” shorty rep answered. “However, some are starting to voice their disappointment,” he concluded.

“WHAT?” Hyoan questioned indignantly.

“Hyoan,” Jungryoul called in a warning tone.

“Most of them would be antis,” thin rep commented. “But the real thing will start in a couple of hours,” he added dead serious.

“Why did they post the article now if no one was going to read it?” Woohyun wondered.

“This matter has become a race for the media. The first ones to get the news win,” thin rep said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Howon sighed and stood up. He was tired of hearing bad news one after another. He silently left the room with nobody questioning his leave. Once outside he felt lost. The boy had no idea where to go. Outside was a no-no for him because of the reporters and he couldn’t go to the rooftop either because it was way too cold for him to handle with the flimsy cloth he was wearing. So he decided to go to the only place he could: the bathroom.

 

 

Howon stared at his reflection in the mirror. Just a couple of days ago he was a lively boy full of energy. Now, he looked like a zombie with those dark circles standing out under his listless eyes. The comeback activities, lack of sleep and emotional tensions were taking its toll on his body.

_This can’t be real._

The boy closed his eyes and started inhaling and exhaling slowly, attempting to forget everything but failing miserably. The whole situation was annoying him.

 _What’s wrong with everybody?_ he thought bitterly. _Why can’t they leave other people’s business alone?_

 ** _Because you are an idol_** another voice said.

Howon opened his eyes in surprise and got a great shock when he saw someone looking back at him, only to realize it was his own reflection. He turned around and scanned the bathroom, but it was empty.

The boy brought a hand to his chest, feeling his racing heart, and heaved a sigh.

“I must be going crazy,” he muttered.

He took out his phone to look at the time. 3:37 a.m.

With that, Howon opened the faucet and splashed some water to his face, slapping it a bit in the process, and prepared himself mentally for the long day ahead. 

 


	12. Scandal

The blow came a couple of hours later. Media outlets released articles and articles about the matter, taking it out of proportions.

The responses were varied. They varied from concern and skepticism to rage and disappointment. The scandal was baseless but well structured making it easier to diffuse. 

The effects were almost instant. Many “Inspirits” left their fancafe. Many antis left angry comments in INFINITE’s MV. Few fans defended the group against the antis because they believed the matter would be solved soon. Fanchants during live performances got quieter and cheers disappeared.

Woollim Entertainment tried to protect it’s group image but it was too late. Variety shows refused to receive the group. Music Shows received them only because they were affiliated with a higher entertainment company, but even then, they were neglected by its people.

The days ahead were hard, exhausting, frustrating and discouraging.

But even if the whole world seemed to be against them, INFINITE didn’t give up. They couldn’t quit and they wouldn’t anyway. Not then, not there, not like that and _not incomplete_.

With that in mind, the group of young idols worked harder every day practicing, making their moves sharper and their voices more powerful. The training was much more emotionally heavy, but they had each other to deal with it.

The scandal might have shattered their reputation as a group, but it had strengthened their relation as a family. Together, they could deal with everything and nothing seemed impossible.

 

 

 

“Let’s rest for a bit,” Dongwoo said while turning the music off.

Immediately, the other five members felt to the floor exhausted. They had been training for 9 straight hours with just a couple of pauses every now and then. Howon dragged his tired body to where the water bottles were stored and threw one to each member, all of them thanking him greatly.

“The practice was good,” Sungyeol said excited while sitting up.

“Yes, it was,” answered Howon pleased.

“Hyung, can we stop now?” Sungjong asked. “I’m a little bit tired and my back is hurting,” he whined.

Dongwoo chuckled at the youngest antics. He glanced at the clock located in the room before looking back at Sungjong. “Let’s practice for 20 minutes more to finish the hour. Then we can stop,” he said.

“Yes!” the maknae yelled excited and stood up right away.

The others grunted before standing up again. Their bodies were numb but after such a long time training, twenty minutes wouldn’t hurt. Not that much at least.

They all took their positions again and Dongwoo turned the music one, proceeding with the training.

 

“I’m still surprised with the kids,” Hyoan commented as he watched the group stand up to practice.

“They had always been hardworking,” Jungryoul answered.

“I don’t mean that,” Hyoan responded looking at his sunbae. “After everything that has happened, I’m surprised they can still smile like that and act as if nothing has happened,” he explained to the curious looking Jungryoul. “I’m astonished by their optimism.”

“They have a great teamwork, don’t they?”  Jungryoul answered thoughtfully.

The truth is, they did have a lot of problems at the beginning, mostly because of their doubts. But everything got better within them despite everything going on.

 

 

_The boys felt trapped. The yells from the reporters and the cameras shoved in their faces didn_ _’_ _t help at all. They had never had a serious problem with sasaeng fans but this was worse than that._

_The short ride from the backdoor to their van seemed to last forever. This was even beyond the invasion of privacy, or in fact, of personal space._

_“_ _Is it true that INFINITE is over?_ _”_ _“_ _Will Kim Sunggyu be kicked out of the group?_ _”_ _“_ _Did Hoya really hit Kim Sunggyu and sent him to the hospital?_ _”_

_All sort of stupid questions were thrown at the boys from every direction making them feel dizzy and overwhelmed._

_Finally, with the help of their manager and some of the hospital staff the boys reached the van. Jungryoul immediately started it and left the hospital with all those stalkers behind._

_“_ _What the hell was that?_ _”_ _Dongwoo questioned once the shock had lapsed._

_“_ _Hyung, did you know this was going to happen?_ _”_ _Sungyeol asked his manager._

_“_ _What_ _’_ _s up with all those questions?_ _”_ _Howon asked in displeasure. Who the heck came with the idea that he had hit Sunggyu?_

_Jungryoul grabbed the steering wheel with one hand and retrieved his phone with the other. Then he threw it to the back where Howon caught it expertly._

_“_ _Search for the last message Hyoan sent me,_ _”_ _he ordered without taking his eyes off the road._

_Howon unlocked the phone and searched for said message._ _“_ _It has a link,_ _”_ _he said once he found it._

_“_ _Click on it._ _”_

_The boy obliged and he was immediately taken to an article released just an hour ago._

 

**INFINITE** **’** **s Limit?**

 

The popular 7-member boy band, INFINITE, produced by Woollim Entertainment has gained attention with their synchronized dance moves and unique sound, making earning them the title of Rising-dols. But with their perfect image, are there problems in paradise?

Just yesterday, the members expressed their discomfort with each other in the group during a recording for a broadcast. None of it was previously scripted giving the writers a hard time figuring what to do with the piece.

Right after that, insiders reported that an ambulance arrived at the group’s apartment complex and the boys were seen at the scene. Their leader was the one taken to the hospital for unknown reasons. It is also important to notice that during the recording, the member that was pointed the most was the leader.

Some witnesses have revealed to have heard a discussion going on inside the group’s dorm prior to the distressing call. They have alleged that the members not only fought verbally but also reached the physical level.

To make things even more suspicious, today in the morning, the members could be seen leaving the hospital really early. What is even more surprising is the fact that one of the members, Kim Myungsoo, otherwise known as L, had to be carried out of the hospital because he seemed to be unable to stand up on his own. It’s unknown whether the idols had yet another fight inside the hospital.

Today the members participated in activities without their leader. They were also seen wearing more makeup than usual making the alleged aggression more credible.

It looks that their so-called teamwork suffered from more flaws than the ones the public was aware of. Woollim has yet to release an official statement, so the only thing that matters now is to wait and see how true these facts are.

 

_“_ _This is defamation of the worst kind_ _”_ _shouted Dongwoo._

_Howon and Myungsoo reread the article again to see if their eyes were lying to them, but unfortunately, they weren_ _’_ _t._

_“_ _Shouldn_ _’_ _t the company sue them or something?_ _”_ _Sungjong asked his hyungs._

_“_ _Yes, they should sue them,_ _”_ _concurred Sungyeol._

_“_ _No they can_ _’_ _t do that,_ _”_ _Jungryoul answered back._

_“_ _And why not?_ _”_ _L demanded._

_“_ _That magazine is known for their yellow journalism,_ _”_ _Jungryoul responded ignoring L_ _’_ _s tone of voice._

_“_ _If they are known for that then we shouldn_ _’_ _t worry right?_ _”_ _Woohyun asked hopefully._ _“_ _People know there are like that so they will not believe them right?_ _”_

_“_ _Wrong,_ _”_ _their manager answered and parked the van at one side of the road to be able to look at the boys._ _“_ _That magazine is first, not very well known to the average public but it is for the media. Two, it is from here from where the other media outlets take out the facts to write their out articles. Third, this company has never lost a lawsuit before; their lawyers are just too good. And fourth, it is because of this magazine that most of the big scandals happen. Not many have been able to counterattack their arguments,_ _”_ _he said._

_“_ _Then, are we over?_ _”_ _Sungjong said in disbelief._

_Jungryoul turned to look at him and shook his head._ _“_ _Do you remember the problem that occurred a couple of years ago with another boy group? The one with the fan aggression?_ _”_ _he asked at each of them._

_“_ _That article came from this?_ _”_ _Woohyun asked._

_Their manager nodded._ _“_ _And where are they now?_ _”_ _he asked the boys._

_“_ _Preparing for their next comeback and world tour,_ _”_ _Howon answered this time._

_“_ _See?_ _”_ _he said looking back and Sungjong and petting his head._ _“_ _It will be hard; I_ _’_ _ll not lie to you. And it will require your full commitment and cooperation for this to work,_ _”_ _he said looking at each boy in the eyes._ _“_ _If you can promise that, you will overcome not only this but any obstacle that might come ahead._ _”_

_He then looked back at Sungjong who, at the same time, was staring back at him with his wide and innocent eyes._ _“_ _Can you promise me that?_ _”_ _he asked in such a tender way, just like a father talking to his son._

_Sungjong nodded._ _“_ _Yes,_ _”_ _he said._

_“_ _We can promise that,_ _”_ _Dongwoo said too._

_“_ _We promise,_ _”_ _the others assured as well._

_Jungryoul smiled._ _“_ _Good,_ _”_ _he said before looking back at the road and starting the van again._

 

 

“I wish they didn’t have to go through this to improve,” Jungryoul told Hyoan after a moment. “But this kind of hardships are necessary to acquire greater rewards,” he finished.

“Yes, they do,” Hyoan agreed.

Just then Youngjun appeared. He saw his other two sunbaes and decided to go to where they were.

“Good day,” he said politely.

“Hello Youngjun,” Hyoan answered.

“How is everything going?” Jungryoul asked.

The question made the youngest manager’s face fall. “With me, fine,” he answered.

“And with him?” Hyoan asked.

Youngjun shook his head. “Just a little bit better,” he responded.

Since their last visit, Sunggyu had refused to receive anyone, preferring to be alone. It was something they didn’t understand at first until his doctor had explained it to them.

The shock of having a heart attack leaves many traces. Sunggyu’s little outburst was caused by one. Apparently, he was feeling really insecure of something and meeting his members made him feel even more insecurity. The others didn’t mean it but they didn’t know how to manage it either. Depression was another thing that worried doctor Kang, but with the help of Youngjun, they have been able to maintain Sunggyu’s emotions pretty stable.

The problem was that now, he was afraid of meeting his members and the others were afraid of angering him again.

Hyoan turned to look back at the group which, by now, were laying on the floor relaxing their bodies.

It was true that the boys had fared pretty well as a team, but for INFINITE to truly succeed, they needed to be complete. INFINITE wasn’t a six-member boy group; It was a seven-member boy group which right now was missing its leader.

And if they wanted to bring their leader out of his seclusion, they would need a new plan. It was a little drastic but he was sure that if he succeeded in pulling it out, it would do wonders.

So with that, he took his phone out of his pocket and searched for a number he had barely called twice in his life. When he found it, he hesitated for a second before pressing the dial button. He brought the phone to his ear and waited.

 ** _Ring, Ring, Ring_**  

_“_ _Yoboseyo?_ _”_

 


	13. Planning

"How longer will it be before his leave is over?" I asked nobody in particular.

"Two more days," Woohyun-hyung answered almost immediately.

"What should we do for him?" Dongwoo-hyung wondered taking a seat on the chair next to mine.

Myungsoo and Howon-hyung closed the computer where they were reading on and approached the rest of us. They had been monitoring the articles and responses of the people to know what we were dealing with. I don't know how they do it, honestly. The last time I read a comment my heart almost burst due to my impotence.

"Should we plan a surprise party or something?" Woohyun-hyung asked.

Myungsoo shook his head at that. "I don't think it is a good idea," he answered. "After the way he reacted to us at the hospital, I really doubt he'll be comfortable with a party." Although he didn't say it out loud, I knew he was feeling guilty about his behavior towards Gyu-hyung that night. But sure enough, without his observation skills, we wouldn't have known it wasn't us but something that must have happened before that put him like that.

"Well," Howon said standing up. "If we are going to discuss this now I'll go wake Sungjong up. I'm sure he wouldn't want to miss this talk."

"Hyung," I ventured before Howon-hyung moved. "Can't we just let him sleep a little bit more? He has been very stressed out lately and I'd like it if he rests some more." I pleaded.

The past week had been hell for our maknae. Not because of us, because we have been trying very hard to support him and keep him grounded, but we can't always help him with the battle within his mind that started that same night. Worst thing is, his stress has been manifesting physically with pain and discomfort in his back. He hasn't been attending his therapy sessions either because of our schedules so he hasn't been sleeping correctly for the past week.

"Hyung," Myungsoo spoke calling my attention and taking my hands in his. Despite not liking to have physical contact, he has been a strong rock of support for me this past week.

"I know you're worried about Sungjong, we all are, but remember how important it was been for him to help Sunggyu, even if it is in small things," he said. "How do you think he would feel in the morning when we tell him about this and he wasn't there to discuss it with us?", he finished.

_Ah, you're right._

Every day since the hospital incident, the maknae has been writing little daily notes for our leader and asking Youngjun-hyung to deliver them to him. They are simple. Just some _Sleep well,_ or even a small _Have a nice day._

"Sungyeol-ah," Woohyun-hyung said. "Sungjong is our maknae, and as I hyung I would like to shield him from everything bad that happens in the world, but I'm aware I can't do that because I'll probably just protect his body but harm his mind. We can't always do what we think is better for him," he said seriously.

That struck me really hard. _Am I the one that's been selfish? Has my desire to protect him gone overboard?_

Myungsoo squeezed my hands with his snapping me out of my thoughts.

I could feel Howon-hyung 's stare so I turned my head to look at him in the eyes.

"So," he said. "Can I go and wake Sungjong now?"

I bit my lip and hesitated. _What I consider the best for him might not be the best for himself_. I peeked at Myungsoo once more before nodding slowly.

Howon-hyung smiled at me before turning and walking towards the room our maknae was sleeping.

It didn't take more than a couple of minutes before a bouncing maknae appeared from the hallway with a grinning hyung trailing behind.

"HYUNGS!" he exclaimed before taking a seat on the floor next to my feet. "Is hyung coming back already?" he asked excitedly.

"Gosh Hoya, what did you give him?" Dongwoo-hyung said faking exasperation.

"Nothing, I swear," the accused one responded raising his hands. "He turned like this as soon as I said Gyu."

"Hyu~ng," Sungjong whined loudly, poking and pulling at Woohyun-hyung's pants. "Is he coming soon?" He asked again.

Said hyung chuckled at the youngest antics. "Yes, he's coming soon," he answered as he petted the maknae's head tenderly. "But we need all of us to plan his welcoming party."

"I repeat, I don't think a party will be fine, hyung'll need to rest," Myungsoo interjected again.

For the next couple of minutes we talked about our plans and ideas, all of us gave our inputs to the conversation.

Yet, from the corner of my eye I could see that Sungjong was getting uncomfortable on the floor. Maybe it was because of the way he squirmed without being noticed or because of the frown on his face despite the excitement he projected.

So I thought to myself, I have already let the others wake him up against my will. Let me at least protect him from the floor.

"Sungjong-ah, stand up," I said interrupting Dongwoo-hyung's speech.

The boy turned to look weirdly at me but stood up nonetheless. Once standing I pulled him to where I was and placed him on my chair. The moment his back touched the backrest, he closed his eyes and released a sigh of relief. He opened his eyes again and looked at me in the eyes and smiled.

"So," Dongwoo-hyung said clearing his throat.

"I'm sorry," I said as I sat in the place the maknae was before.

Once hyung proceeded with his speech I glanced at Howon-hyung. The moment he saw me looking he chuckled, shook his head and returned his attention to Dongwoo-hyung.

And just then, with all of us together and Sungjong properly seated in a comfy place, I tuned into the conversation.

 

  
"I'm sorry for contacting you this late, but I'm sure you'll be able to help him," Hyoan said.

"I don't think you should put that much trust in me, but even then, I'll try my best," the other answered.

"Yes please, that's the only thing we need. Sunggyu's sick leave is almost over and we need him to be stable for when he goes back."

"I understand," the other answered. "As I said before, I don't know how much I can do or how much that boy will hear me, but I will do my best."

"Thank you very much," Hyoan said taking the other's hands and shaking them eagerly. "That will mean a lot to all of us, not just him."

 


	14. Concerns

The daylight was diminishing little by little, leaving the boy in the bed even more submerged in the darkness. It didn't fit his mood, the sun. For him, the early mornings were the worst even though they were the brightest moment. He had to wake up to a reality he wasn't ready to accept yet. At noon, he would always receive a visit from one of his managers, to talk, to wind up, not to catch up. He wasn't ready for that yet. And in the nighttime, the good mood he had built along the day would come crashing down in front of him without him being able to stop it.

He had asked for it so he was not complaining. That did not make lonely nights easier.

Even more, his mind had time to flow freely and make him anxious. How was he going to solve this situation? Sure, by now he would have had a solution any other time, yet it evaded him with ease.

How could he face his group members after the scene he caused? He was so embarrassed he just wished he didn't have to wake up anymore or that the earth could eat him whole. Even so, he still had responsibilities to fulfil, his consciousness provided.

He still wasn't so sure he had overreacted to Sungyeol's words or if they really meant to make him feel worst. He doubted it, and in consequence, made him more confused and anxious. He knew them, sort of, and they wouldn't. He just wanted to believe in them. But at the same time, he was afraid of being proven wrong yet again.

The controversy, his sudden attack, the reprimand and warning, culminating with the outburst at the hospital. It was too much for him to handle. Too much. He just wanted out.

A knock on the door snapped him out of his musings. A sense of deja vu got ahold of him for a moment when he noticed the dark room and he almost forgot he had to answer.

Who would come at this hour? Not his managers because they had already left. He seriously hoped it wasn't a company representative. "Come in," Sunggyu said warily, moving further into his bed and away from the door.

The door opened and-

"How dare you leave me waiting in the corridor!"

"Hyung!" Sunggyu exclaimed, almost throwing his comforter in excitement.

Heechul huffed in mock annoyance before coming further into de room, turning on the lights and closing the door. "How are you feeling, little troublemaker?" he asked sitting on the chair Sunggyu had for his guests.

The boy felt no heat from the nickname, but the question made him hesitant. How was he? Although he was happy to see his hyung (Super Junior have been busy after their leader came back from the army), he dreaded the encounter. Was he going to confront him?

Sunggyu had always been able to perceive of this kind of things, knowing when something is about to happen (which was why he was so out of it, he didn't see the controversy coming).

Heechul must have sensed the other's discomfort because he changed the topic quickly, knowing Sunggyu had to hold his bearing before answering. "Well, I see you're alive. That's good," he observed.

Sunggyu smiled a little, grateful for his hyung's sense. He knew confrontation was coming, but at least it wasn't coming so soon.

"So, have you been watching that drama I told you about? I can't believe Hee Jun ah did that, I cannot compute it." the older said to start a conversation.

"I have!" the boy exclaimed animatedly. "I couldn't watch it when it aired but I caught up with it just after the concert. I can understand that Soo Min was angry although not to that extent."

"Right? And to think that he was the heir all along? I was so sure it was Jae Hyuk instead."

"No hyung, the signs were all there, laid out in the open. Hee Jun just had to be it."

Heechul sighed loudly and crossed his arms. "What do you know?" He said annoyed.

Sunggyu chuckled at his hyung's antics, fully aware of the older's intentions of making him feel at ease. Such a vulgar conversation.

They kept chit chatting for a while, enjoying each other’s presence. Sunggyu always felt contented when he was with the older one. Sure, Heechul could be a lot to handle sometimes, but he was always so genuine and caring for those he was close with. Sunggyu knew he could be himself and didn't have to pretend in front of him. At first, it was scary because it felt as if Heechul could read his soul, always so perceptive, but he learned to love every moment he was with the other.

It was a double edge sword, for him.

"Sunggyu-yah," Heechul said after the boy had finished his little speech over the hospital food. He turned to look at the other after noticing his tone of voice, more serious this time. Heechul was looking at some colorful papers on his night table and Sunggyu felt the blood leave his face.

"'Have a nice day, hyung'" Heechul read. He turned his head to the younger, how looked like a deer caught in the car lights. "Is this from one of your members?" he asked lifting the papers.

Sunggyu avoided the others penetrating stare and nodded. Those papers came from his manager. Every day for the past week he had brought them saying they were from Sungjong. He refused them every day so his manager would his leave them on the table, unopened.

He knew he should feel offended that his hyung was touching his stuff, but at the same time, he was aware that he could use this opportunity to sort his feelings. Talking with his managers was good, to some extent. He needed someone who could understand him. Someone who could see from where all his frustrations were coming from. Someone who had gone through something similar.

He wriggled his hands nervously and sighed, calming himself. "Yes," he answered slowly. "From our maknae."

Heechul chuckled. "Maknaes can be a lot to handle, right?" he asked without expecting an answer.

"Hyung," Sunggyu called, searching for the older's eyes. "I need to ask you something."

"About time," he said. "Open up."

"You are not Super Junior's leader, right, but you have been at Leeteuk's side all along. How can he manage all the members? I mean, you've gone through some serious controversies, so how can you still be so close-tight as you are? If something happens and the media gets a hang of it and twists it, how do you deal with the heat? Your group is still standing strong even after all these years, how's it possible not to succumb to internal conflicts? If you ever-"

He stopped. Even if Heechul hadn't uttered a word Sunggyu realised he was now rambling. He fixed his bangs, a nervous habit of his, and laughed, embarrassed. The oldest observed him with no emotion betraying his face. Although the younger knew he could be as bold as he wanted with the other, he still felt unnerved sometimes.

Heechul stood up and approached the bed.

"Hyung?"

The oldest wordlessly took a seat on the bed right next to the other and held the boy's hand in his own. Then, he moved the other and put it right above the youngest's heart while bringing the other's hand to his.

Sunggyu flushed at the proximity and even more after noting that his heart was pounding erratically in his chest and that the other could feel it too. On the other hand, Heechul was as calm as could be.

"Hyung, wha-"

"What are you scared of?" Heechul wondered, his voice soft and calm.

"Huh?"

What was he scared of? Meeting his members again? Facing the fans or the media? Failing again?

"Sunggyu-yah," Heechul called. "How's your heart dealing with all of this?"

"My heart? Physically? The doctor said it would be as good as new if I rested correctly." The boy answered.

The SuJu singer smiled. "That's good to hear, Sunggyu-yah, but what I want to know is, how are you feeling about all this. How's your heart, not physically, but your inside, dealing with this."

"It is stressed," the other answered without thinking. "It feels like giving up, like the pressure of the responsibilities this body was given is taking a huge toll to it," he answered, barely a whisper.

Heechul sighed and pulled both boy's hands into his. "This job is hard, isn't it?" he asked. "People don't really give a thought of how difficult it is to be an idol. They are under the impression that you just need to smile, dance and look handsome on stage and you'll earn a fortune, but they don't understand all the effort, physical, mental and psychological effort it takes to finish a 4-minute-long song on stage. It's unfortunate, right?"

Sunggyu listened to the other as he looked at the other's hands. They felt callused, there were small, almost invisible scars here and there, they were strong and soft at the same time. The hands of experience he thought.

"We chose this path on our own, that much is true, yet we are not forced to continue it. You know that right?" he asked. The boy nodded again. Was that really what we wanted? "But," Heechul exclaimed, "don't give up on it because others are telling you to. Don't let others deceive you in what you really want to do, what you want to achieve." He said with a little more force yet still gentle.

 

_I was in a prairie. There were children playing in the flowers. The sun was going down, giving the sky a beautiful orange_ _color. They were laughing, smiling and screaming happily, and without me realizing, I was laughing as well. The atmosphere was warm and cozy_ _. Suddenly, the wind started blowing. The sun went down completely and the children disappeared leaving an empty hole in the landscape._

 

"I'm scared that I'll never find happiness here. It will never be the same it was before."

 

_The environment turned cold and I started trembling. Out of the blue, two strong arms held me from behind, binding me immobile. The arms were golden and shiny. Every place they touched became heavy. My arms. my shoulders, my chest, my heart. My knees were about to give up because of the sudden weight. I heard the person, a woman, chuckling in my ear. I tried to turn my head to look at her, but then, the wind got stronger. The woman lets go of me and I felt myself flying in the black space._

 

"I'm scared of the fan. Their disappointment," he amended.

 

_I_ _realized_ _I was now in a dirty, empty room. There was someone else inside. It was a young boy, thin and pale. His skin was scarred and bloody. He was next to the only window in the room and the light obscured his face. Then, I noticed some weight in my hand, so I brought it up and saw that I was holding a whip. Immediately, the boy crouched down and started screaming, sending shivers through my spine. The walls crumbled with the shrieking and the roof fell in between us. The last thing I saw were the boy’s dark, deep eyes, staring at me before the floor gave up throwing me to the nothingness._

 

"I'm scared I can't contain own fears and I'll hurt those who are beside me even more." My members were left unsaid.

Heechul turned to look at the window. The sky was already dark it must have been late already. Sunggyu's dinner wasn't here yet though. INFINITE's manager must have done something, although he doubted the other would be able to delay it any longer.

"You know," he started, "I have told you the story many times of how any why I'm still in Super Junior, and it involves a very annoying and ugly anchovy. But I'm grateful to him, and maybe not indebted, but I feel I own him, a little." He chuckled. "The morale of the story is, don't do everything alone. I feel very honored to be trusted by you, but even I can't be with you forever. There are others who can, and I'm sure they will even if you don't ask them," he said, giving him a pointed look.

The boy shifted his sight towards the letters. Those little messages that seemed insignificant, probably meant a lot. He smiled at them. That little guy, he deserved so much better even if he was sometimes annoying. Sunggyu owed him an apology. To all of them.

"I have always believed I had to be strong for them. Put a brave face against anything that came to us and take the brunt of the hit. They are younger and I'm their leader for a reason."

“They aren’t babies, not anymore,” Heechul responded. “They don’t need your protection anymore. I can’t count a number of times Kyuhyun, Ryeowook and Siwon have helped us solve issues within the group. Even Donghae and Henry have offered their hand to help,” the other continued. “If there’s an advice I’ll like to give you is, trust your members. Get your support from them. Even if they can’t solve the problem, just saying them will be a relief to you. That’s what Leeteuk does. Oh! And forget about the media, forget about the company, forget about everything that puts more pressure on you. Believe me, it will all pay off at the end,” he finished.

There was a knock on the door. Heechul stood up again and opened it to let the nurse enter.

“Good night Sunggyu-ssi. Good night mister,” she said cheerily. “I brought your dinner,” the nurse said positioning the cart next to the bed.

“Thank you,” Sunggyu answered politely.

The boy waited for the nurse to leave to talk again.

“Thank you, hyung,” he said. “Even if you didn’t exactly answer my questions,” Heechul raised his eyebrow, “it helped me a lot. It cleared my mind.”

“Of course it did, you brat!” the older exclaimed. “And now, what were you saying about Jae Hyuk not being the heir?” He asked approaching the bed threateningly.

“Hyung, it was obvious. How could you not notice it?” the boy teased.

Heechul launched himself to the bed and started a tickle attack. “You should pay brat!” he said.

Sunggyu squirmed and struggled beneath him, laughing and crying at the same time. “No, hyung!” he begged. “Stop!”

Heechul had mercy on him and allowed the boy to take a breath before attacking him yet again, earning even more delightful pleas. Of, he could be a little bit sadist sometimes, but hearing the other laugh was a fitting reward.

They both played and teased each other for about an hour until Heechul deemed it enough for the night. He had schedules and Sunggyu was getting discharged the next day, and maybe a nurse had come and told them to make silence once. Maybe not.

“So, brat, take care of yourself,” Heechul said as he picked up his stuff. “Are you coming to my concert next month?” He wondered.

“Sure! Save me a seat.” Sunggyu confirmed him. “Bye!”

Heechul waved and left the room, just like that. Typical Heechul. Sunggyu chuckled for the nth time that day.

He stood up and closed the curtains. He would wait for the nurse to take his food tray away to sleep. In the meantime, he approached the night table and grabbed the letters his maknae had sent.

He opened the first one and smiled.


	15. Pictures

It was early in the morning when he woke up. Although he had gone late to bed, Sunggyu still felt refreshed and ready for the day. The boy was still nervous but his reunion with his hyung the day before had helped him clear his mind and sort most of his feelings.

The light of the early morning was sipping through, illuminating the room gradually. The day was supposedly going to be warm; a change from the cold of the last weeks, and the sky was already showing it. Sunggyu felt it was a good signal.

The boy turned around and grabbed the last stack of notes on his bedside. He had read most of them the night before, but he realized there were too many of them to finish in one night. Each of them was customized to fit the content, decorated carefully and in such a detail it was a pleasure to observe. Sungjong did really work hard with it.

Sunggyu read each one, admiring every small detail of the letter, and smiled. His maknae could be such a brat sometimes, but he still loved them so much and was such an obedient child. The leader promised he would fix everything, for real this time. With him and with everyone.

Soon, it was time for his breakfast and his last check-up. The nurse came in and as she scribed the observations of the day on her papers she informed him of the checkout procedure. His manager was to arrive soon and fill the papers while he changed into his regular clothes and saved all his belongings inside a small bag.

The nurse soon left, promising to come back with his manager when he arrived. Sunggyu nodded and wished her a good day.

He rose up from the bed, something he barely did during his stay at the hospital and stretched. He then moved to the window to observe his surroundings.

The hospital was in one of the quietest parts of the city, surrounded by some apartment complexes, a couple of buildings used as offices and a park, exclusively for hospital inmates. The idol regretted not going during his stay but figured it was better to stay indoors and hidden from the world. At least that way, he'd be able to keep his low profile and help the controversy die faster.

Talking about the controversy.

Sunggyu opened the window and felt the fresh air blow his face. It was reinvigorating and relaxing. It felt great.

"For a long time, I drowned in thoughts of self-misery," he said aloud, to no one in particular. He'd heard that taking to oneself could help clear up the mind. "For longer, I thought I had to do everything myself. A wasn’t enough, never, yet I had to conceal every shortcoming I could have. That I had to be perfect, that I had to do great, that I was to do it alone."

He looked down and saw a child running ahead of a couple, the woman pushing a wheelchair. "I thought I was miserable enough and the only way to prove myself was to be imposing while hiding my true self."

"And what do you think now?" His manager asked from behind, startling the boy.

Sunggyu spun so quickly he almost lost his balance but was able to catch himself before he fell. "Hyung!" he exclaimed.

"I'm sorry for scaring you" Youngjun answered coming into the room. "I just knocked the door, but you didn't answer, I thought you were still asleep," he responded sheepishly. "How was yo-"

"I don't feel like that anymore." Sunggyu interrupted. "I don't feel as lowly of myself as before." He knew he had to talk, the only way he'll be finally free of the pains in his heart.

His manager stared at him surprised. "And how do you feel now?" he questioned now that the boy was willing to reply.

Sunggyu smiled and showed him a letter, his personal favorite from the collection. "I realize there are so many people in this world, many who go through pains and struggles, maybe worse than mine, I shouldn't be so selfish."

"Sunggyu-yah-"

"But at the same time," the boy proceeded, "my pains and concerns are valid. I have the right to feel the way I do because I'm human." He approached the older and handed him the letter. "What's wrong is to believe that keeping everything to me will solve everything."

The manager took the letter and observed it. It was one of the simplest ones, a couple of colorful lines along the border and INFINITE's logo at the top left corner. What caught his attention was the message:

 

_WE R WTH U._

 

"That boy is really clever," Sunggyu chuckled.

"Seven letters," Youngjun mused and the other one nodded.

"If I interpret it correctly," Sunggyu said as he looked back to the family at the park. The boy was sitting at the feet of the man, probably listening to one of the most amazing stories ever. His eyes, even from the distance, denoted wonder and shined with curiosity. "They each represent one of us, the letters, hence the logo at the top." He turned around again. "I have all the right in the world to feel pain and feel bad, yet not talking takes away the joy of those who love me for helping me and supporting me. By not talking I not only damage myself but also the closest to me." Sunggyu talked as he approached his manager. "And that includes you."

He held another letter, this one more extravagant than the last, with the words: _THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING._

His manager took the letter slowly and smiled.

"Thank you for all your hard work all these years, hyung," the leader said wrapping his arms around the older.

"You know," his manager said as he patted the boy's back, "I always thought you were the hard kind, the one that would give me a rough time and would make age sooner." He added teasingly. "But you know what?" He said while peering at the other in the eyes, "I have never once regretted being your manager."

He could see how the younger blushed at the words, but even then, didn't break contact. "I'm glad that I was able to see you grow and mature into the young man you are today. I can say that little by little you become wiser, and I'm more than honored to be with you during the process."

"Hyung..."

"You and the others, I'm sure you'll become stronger, and greater. You'll see." He patted the younger's head with affection and a proud smile on his face.

"Now, it's time for you to go back. Are you ready?"

"Yes," Sunggyu said without hesitation. "I'm ready."

 

 

"I'm not ready," the leader whined as he stared at the familiar streets with his head pressed to the window. "Let's go back, I still feel sick," he pleaded his manager.

"Now, now, where's that resolution from before?" Youngjun asked amused, looking at his expression.

"At the hospital. Let's go get it," Sunggyu replied seriously. The younger had turned his head so fast the other thought he'd get whiplash.

"Sunggyu-yah," his manager started, "I know you fear meeting them. I can only imagine what's going on through that head of yours. But you should also know that your members love you so much, and they miss you dearly. Weren't the notes proof enough?" the older admonished kindly.

The idol bit his lips, looking at the stack of papers on his hands. He had decided to take them with him during the ride to remind him why on earth had he agreed to go back to the dorm instead of his house.   _That, and because his house was empty anyway, no one to receive him with open arms._ He ignored the thought.

Sunggyu sighed, closing his eyes, and tried to relax. He could feel his heart beating faster, not on a dangerous level, but enough to make him slightly light-headed. The doctor had said it was normal, dizziness could occur given the circumstances, which is why he needed company for the next week at the very least.

And that thought brought him to the realization that he couldn't avoid this encounter any longer. He'd have to go forward.

 

 

The way to the dorm was faster than he would have liked, and very soon he was standing before the door to it.

Youngjun had the sense to allow the younger to gather his bearings instead of opening the door at once.

Sunggyu fixed his hair for the nth time as he stared at the door with such an intensity that incited a chortle from the manager. The boy looked at him with worried eyes and a little pout.

 _Cute,_ the older thought.

"Are you trying to burn holes through the door or are you going to go inside?" the older asked entertained. Sunggyu sighed, knowing he couldn't delay the inevitable further.

The manager put a sympathetic hand on the other's shoulder and finally opened the door.

The boy first noted the cleanness of the living room as he removed his shoes. The place was clear and neat, contrasting greatly with the disaster it was the last time he'd been there. Although he was glad the others had cleaned it, he couldn't help to feel a pang on his chest at the emptiness of the room, almost as if taunting him of the past.

He moved even further towards the dorm and realized the kitchen had received the same treatment. Clean, clear, neat, empty.

"Hyung?" Sunggyu asked Youngjun, "Didn't you say the others were here?" It was like if he was moving in to a whole new place whatsoever.

"They are," the other answered simply. "Just look for them." There was a mysterious smile that passed the older's face, but it disappeared so quickly the leader thought he had imagined it. The boy lifted an eyebrow at the manager but didn't question anymore.

If things were like in a movie, the others would be hiding in the last room of the dorm, which happened to be his. He could, therefore, decide to go directly towards it or continue wandering the dorm searching for any renovation the younger ones would have thought necessary.

He decided to keep investigating. If the others had taken the effort of cleaning and fixing the place, he should at least show appreciation for their work and recognize it. He was about to open the maknae's room when something in the corner of his eye caught his attention.

Sunggyu looked back at the living room and saw a paper he hadn't seen before, probably because it was hidden from his view when he came in. It had been odd for him that his manager was just following silently without saying anything at all; not a normal behavior from the other. Looking back, the cleanness of the dorm was also strange. The members wouldn't leave the place vacant knowing how much he hated the emptiness.

He moved to pick up the paper and realized that it was a picture of the whole group, laughing on a white set. The back part detailed the place and the date of the photo.   _Weekly Idol, 2011_. The first time they had arrived on the show. To his right he found another picture, again, hidden before due to the angle but now in plain view. The sight of three puppies along with the rest greeted him.   _Birth of a family, 2012._

Like that, he went on, looking inside every corner of each room available. Kitchen, bathroom, the others' rooms, finding picture after picture of the group, smiling, laughing.   _Japan Days of INFINITE, 2010. Sesame Player, 2011. Ranking King, 2012. Yoo Hee Yeol's Sketchbook 2012. INFINITE Concert "Second Invasion", 2012. Golden Disk Awards 2013. This is INFINITE, 2014. Seoul Music Awards, 2014. Showtime, 2016. Gaon Chart K-pop Awards, 2017_ , and the list went on.

The photos were everywhere, and he mindlessly wondered why he hadn't noticed them earlier. Each one brought a different memory of activities, events, programs, concerts, and awards that the team had lived through together. Each one so important and precious to him.

The last photo he found had been pasted to the door of his room. The boy extended his arm and grabbed it, marveling at the picture as the tears that had been gathering in his eyes during his quest finally fell.

 _M!Countdown, September 1st 2011._ Their first win. The day their CEO finally confirmed them their permanence as a group. No,   _as a family._

Sunggyu bit his lips to silence the sob that was threatening to escape his throat as he wiped his tears. Youngjun, who had been observing him during his hunt, hugged him once more, allowing the other to hide his face on the other's broad chest.

Every single year Sunggyu had lived with the others, all the ups and downs, all the disappointments and excitements, hopes and dreams, guilt, resentment, _longing_ , it all came crashing towards him, overwhelming him. He soon found himself sobbing, wetting the older's shirt as he felt the burdens he had carried alone exit his body. For years he had thought he had to do everything alone, that depending on others was a sign of weakness that he couldn't afford as an idol and as a leader. That isolation was the only way he could move forward. He painfully realized then that he had never been alone. He had always had people by his side that went through the same he did, felt the same he felt, and loved him wholeheartedly even if he himself didn't give his heart to them.

Regret filled his heart at the realization that the others, his _dongsaengs_ , had never truly left him alone. And it wasn’t only them but his managers, stylist noonas, his hyungs, the staff at Woolim, many people.

He hugged the other tightly, letting all out. And soon, it wasn't just a pair of arms the ones encircling him. He could feel more hands reaching him, wiping his endless tears, patting his back and head. Someone whispering sweet nothings to his ear. A warm body wrapping itself behind him and melting the ice inside his heart.

He opened his puffy eyes and saw his dongsaengs there, along with Hyoan and Jungryoul right next to him, in the most vulnerable moment he could ever imagine, reaching forward and caring for him instead of showing disgust and displeasure. He felt protected, surrounded by people that truly cared about him and that would do anything to make him happy.

His heart beat faster, not painfully as before the attack, but warmly. He felt giddy and, in the need, to sit down but was reluctant to give up such a pleasant warmth.   _He was finally home._


	16. Apology

Hyoan sipped his drink as he watched the boys that were lying on the spotless floor, covered in sweat and dust, smiles gracing their faces. It had been a long, arduous job, but they finally finished cleaning the whole dorm. It had been Woohyun's idea in the first place, and after not so much resistance, the rest had agreed to it. Hyoan had gone to print the pictures that would then be scattered around the rooms before returning and helping Jungryoul lift the bags and boxes that were sometimes too heavy for the boys to carry. Youngjun was attending the last procedures to get Sunggyu out of the hospital but had promised to bring take-out as a reward for their hard work.

He turned towards the coffee table and observed how Jungryoul wrote at the back of every picture methodically; dates and events still fresh inside his head. Hyoan wondered how his sunbae was able to remember every detail so clearly after years of working with the group.

It was early, around 2 or 3 in the morning, and Sunggyu wouldn't arrive until noon, which gave them a window big enough to finish the preparations for his arrival. This was the first time in a while that going to sleep late wasn't an obligation, the boys carelessly rolling around the floor like little kids.

Had it been the last dorm Hyoan would have scolded them and told them to rise from the floor lest they wanted to catch a cold. This one, though, had underfloor heating and they had no schedules later that day, so he let them be.

Sungyeol, who was the nearest to Jungryoul, caressed Sungjong's back as the maknae sorted the pictures that had already been labeled. Some were just screenshots of programs, others were pictures taken by fansites, Myungsoo's camera and the company's too. All beautiful nonetheless. His youngest hyung had been designated to gather the memories because of his eye for photography. He had taken a little bit more than liked, although they had expected it due to the perfectionist nature of the younger. Still, the photos had come out impeccably.

Sungjong felt a lump in his throat as he observed each one, marveling at its beauty and remembering each passing occasion. That was another reason why Myungsoo had been selected for the task; he wasn't heartless but was more composed than the rest, assuring the job wouldn't end in a tear fest. Dongwoo refused to look at them, same as Sungyeol, since they wanted to remain collected for when Sunggyu finally arrived. Sungjong doubted the dancer to be capable of holding his tears if he saw their leader crying but reserved his thoughts for himself.

Dongwoo had thought receiving the older with a party was too cliché and instead opted to create a more heart-warming experience. Sort of like a bonding moment for all. The first idea thrown was rolling papers but was quickly replace with the pictures, courtesy of Howon.

The sound of the dorm opening and Woohyun rushing towards the door snapped him of his thoughts. He noticed that Jungryoul was speaking to Howon in a corner, perhaps after finishing his assignment so he hurriedly collected the mementos, careful of not bending a corner or ruining a picture.

After he was done, Woohyun and Youngjun put the food in the freshly cleared table and started handing out the plates of food. It was a tradition for the group to gather around the coffee table during special events, especially if their managers were present since the table in the kitchen wouldn't fit them all.

The members thanked the older ones for the food and started eating in silence, both from tiredness and pensive mood.

Woohyun urged the younger ones to finish their food faster and sent them to take a bath. The singer wanted the maknaes fed and in bed as soon as possible. Myungsoo was spared of taking a bath as he hadn't participated in cleaning the dorm, but still, complied with the older’s wishes. He was tired anyway. Dongwoo picked the thrash and threw it in a bag they had reserved for the rubbish and saved the leftovers inside the fridge. Howon helped their managers settle in Sungjong's and Woohyun's rooms. They could have left to their own place but decided to stay for the night, or morning, after the boys' persuasion.

And so, sleep-filled the dorm, every inhabitant dreaming in ways of bringing their group closer.

 

 

At first, it had been quiet, faint, but soon became loud and evident. The boys were all huddled inside Sunggyu's room. It had been a while since they heard the door of the dorm closing and could hear steps on the other rooms, so they figured Sunggyu was looking for the pictures.

The sound of a sob at the other side of the door surprised them, and almost immediately they heard muffled cries. The boys had planned for the pictures to touch the leader's heart but didn't expect for him to react in such a way. Dongwoo couldn't contain himself anymore and opened the door to see Sunggyu crying on Youngjun's arms. He moved forward and hugged him from behind, tearing up in the process. The rest of the boys surrounded the trio, hugging and caressing any available part of the leader's body as the other managers watched the encounter with affection. Jungryoul and Youngjun shared a look and smiled.

"Hyung," Myungsoo called towards Jungryoul, "we should move to the room." Always as observant, he realized that Sunggyu was getting tired regardless of his contented expression.

The manager agreed and ushered the others towards the room, Dongwoo and Youngjun holding Sunggyu carefully. The leader whined at the loss of warmth but complied as he himself was feeling faint.

The two sat the leader down and that's when Sunggyu saw the room. The walls filled with pictures, much more than the stack on his hand. The tears that were stopping came again full force, so he leaned towards Woohyun, who had sat next to him, and let them fall free. Vaguely he recognized the wetness on his shoulder but ignored them in favor of holding the younger tighter. Dongwoo again threw himself behind the leader and hugged him just as before, the rest of the member doing the same. Youngjun moved out of the way to allow the boys to cuddle and moved next to the other managers to observe.

Sometimes, he thought, actions speak louder than both words and pictures ever will. Hyoan placed his arm around his shoulders in a side hug and smiled at him.

After a while, Sunggyu separated himself from Woohyun and turned around to look at the younger ones, all of them with either tear in their eyes or shining gazes. They observed him quietly as he regarded every single member, looking at his maknaes at last. He knew he had an unfinished business with Sungjong but didn't deny he had hurt both Myungsoo and Sungyeol while in the hospital.

"I'm sorry," he said after a moment of silence.

Sungjong shook his head and tried to apologize instead but Sunggyu asked kindly him to let him finish.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, looking at each of them directly. "In my quest for self-assurance, I failed to notice I was been harmful towards you all. I was self-centered most of the time and strive for my own satisfaction without taking your feelings into consideration." He continued, "I do recognize I tried to bring the best for the group and that I did my best for the team to become more popular, be better. But at the same time, I thought of the group as mine, which made me think I had to do everything myself for it to work. I didn't understand that INFINITE was about teamwork instead of a solo journey."

He turned towards the youngest again and extended his hand, much like he had done in the hospital, yet this time it was with genuine intentions. Sungjong grabbed his hand without hesitation and Dongwoo moved to the side to allow the maknae to get closer.

"Especially to you," he said looking at the other's eyes "I was hurtful towards you and placed ridiculous expectations in your shoulders, even knowing that they would be harmful to you, both physically and mentally." Sunggyu wiped stray tears from the maknae's eyes as he felt his own falling from his eyes. Honestly, he thought he had no right to cry in front of Sungjong for all the damage he had caused, but remorse was stronger than his will.

Sungjong closed his eyes for a moment, trembling and shaking his head, sobs trying to leave his body. Sunggyu considered hugging the younger but didn't in fear of upsetting the other. He had hurt him deeply and feared the younger would choose to get away from him.

Which is why Sungjong launching himself towards him caught him completely off-guard. As he was unprepared, he saved himself from falling off the bed if it wasn't for Woohyun's presence next to him, who in exchange moved him towards the center of the bed with his maknae on top of him.

"What I always wanted," Sunggyu heard Sungjong whisper, "was for you to love me as you loved the rest." Sunggyu patted his head as he continued. "I'm sorry too, hyung. I knew you were in pain, and even then, I would make things harder for you, complaining and disobeying as a form of protest your favoritism. I also acted on purpose for you to look at me." Sungjong confessed, raising his head and looking at the other's face. "I'm sorry." He added, "and, I forgive you too."

Sunggyu held my tighter to himself, feeling the others thin body and massaging his spine with the tip of his fingers. Sunggyu was known to awkward skinship, something that contrasted greatly with the rest of his group but acknowledged this type of physical affection was most needed and greatly appreciated by the youngest. "I forgive you too," he replied, giving the other the most beautiful smile the younger had ever seen. Sungjong smiled back.

Sunggyu turned towards the spot where Myungsoo and Sungyeol were standing and expressed his regret of the way he had acted, for fighting and misunderstanding the latter; both who apologized as well. "No hard feelings," Myungsoo confirmed content.

"CUDDLES!" Dongwoo yelled suddenly, throwing himself towards the pair at the bed, bringing Sungyeol with him, mindful of not crushing them, being followed by the rest of the group. It made the leader and the youngest laugh at their silliness. The bed filled to the limit with the bodies of seven young men and the leader realized he didn't mind having the rest next to his body, with the youngest on top of him and being surrounded by dongsaengs. It was a pleasant experience, plus made him realize how deprived of love and affection he had been for a very long time.

_He wouldn't change it for anything._

 

 

"So," Woohyun said, after a while, "now that this is out of the way, we should give you the welcome you were supposed to receive upon arrival." He had seen the managers leave the room during the pair's encounter, so he guessed they were preparing the table. Woohyun rose from the bed and moved towards the dresser. They had prepared a little gift, but he figured it would be better to give it to him, later.

"Right," Howon agreed, helping the boys off the now flushing leader. "We have to seal this moment with a feast!"

Dongwoo pulled Sunggyu up in the same way he had brought Sungyeol down and helped him move to the kitchen. Sunggyu was thankful for the other's thoughtfulness as he still felt a little bit weak after crying.

His small eyes went wide as he witnessed the food placed at the table. Side dishes dispersed around plates and plates of meat, rice, soups, and noodles. Never had he seen this amount of food in that table and he didn't even know how had all fit in it.

Dongwoo placed him on the sofa, Sungyeol and Sungjong sitting beside him, and handed him a small glass of grape juice. Sunggyu stared at the beverage questioningly and Dongwoo shrugged.

"You don't expect us to give you alcohol after being released just hours before from the hospital, do you?" Myungsoo answered nonchalantly from the back, earning a snicker from the youngest.

"Excuse you," Sunggyu stammered, blushing, "how would I have known what you were thinking." He countered.

"Okay, okay," Jungryoul interrupted what was surely becoming a bickering war. "Let's make a toast," he continued rising his cup.

"Let's be grateful that now the group is finally together after so long," he said while looking at everyone in the room fondly.

The youngest members huddled around their leader.

"Even if there are lows on the way..."

The small touches happened between Howon, Woohyun and their youngest manager.

"And sometimes it feels like nothing is working out…"

The oldest dancer leaned towards Hyoan by his side.

"Let's remember we are never alone, and that there are others willing to have our back."

The silent whisper of warmth and belonging that permeated the room.

"Cheer for a greater future, together as a family," he concluded contentedly.

_"Cheers!"_


	17. Epilogue

Rustling and bustling was the only sound that could be heard. The rooms and corridors backstage were filled with people rushing and maneuvering to avoid colliding with another staff member.

The last few months had been chaotic after the company decided to change the concert venue for an even larger one. With the world tour right around the corner, adding a new date to meet the domestic demand had been impossible. The people that had bought their tickets for the first venue had their sits adapted to the new place and given the best positions while those who had been unable to secure a spot were grateful to be given another chance to watch their favorite singers before they left for the tour. It was a solution that pleased the fans.

Although the economic loss that was included with the venue change couldn't be covered with the new incoming people, the revenue from the last album was more than enough to pay for the expenses, adding to the profits that would come with goods sales and other concerts outside. After all, not many had the opportunity to perform in such a big venue, so it was worth it.

 

 

The stadium was filled to the top, people cheering and screaming to the top of their lungs.

Woohyun had ventured before, to observe the people as they waited for the concert to begin. Being clad with the performance outfits and in full makeup make him feel thrilled and nervous. "This is really happening," he muttered. They had been in stadiums as big as that one but for festivals and awards, not for solo concerts. Never in a place like that.

He could watch how fans shook their lightsticks to the rhythm of a song they were singing as they waited, the yellow ocean extending beyond his eyes. _It was beautiful._

Once inside the changing room, Sungyeol and L were seen reviewing a stage they would perform together, Hoya and Dongwoo practicing the choreography one more time before the show and Sungjong warming up his voice. He directed himself towards the young ones to see if he could be of help.

Sunggyu appreciated the scene, something he had never done before. He'd be so concentrated in making sure everything was perfect, asking staff and following his managers left and right to confirm that preparations were ready. He'd rush the others to get ready and would go into a state of frenzy if an unexpected event happened.

Now, he was sitting in the stylist's chair, whom had just finished applying his makeup and observed the sight before him. He no longer felt the need to meddle in the staffs' way, nor disturb the others with his nagging. Sure, as the leader he had to make sure they were in order and ready for the concert, but other than that, he had limited himself too imposing or ordering. He trusted them after all.

In hindsight, he wondered how he hadn't gotten the attack sooner; always so hectic bordering neurotic, he commended his heart for lasting as long as it did. Even then, he was glad it had happened. It made him more appreciative of his situation. He now treasured his members greatly and understood them better. It felt nice to not carry the burden alone anymore.

Unconsciously, his hand reached towards his neck until it felt a small chain. He touched the jewelry, caressing the small rectangle, a little replica of the picture on his door resting inside it.

 

_"Hyung, this isn't much, but we wanted to make sure we'd be with you wherever you go." Woohyun had said, handing him a small box._

 

He felt a soft tap on his shoulder and turned around to see Sungjong standing next to him. "What happened?" Sunggyu asked.

The younger hesitated for a moment before inquiring "Did you receive an answer?"

"Ah, that," the leader confirmed. "They didn't reply, but my noona sent me a congratulatory message," he answered simply.

"I'm sorry," Sungjong said sheepishly.

Sunggyu shook his head and grabbed the other's hand. He still wasn't as fond as the others of the skinship but was making a progress. "Thank you for worrying," he said. "And it doesn't really matter, because my family is here," he continued looking around the room for his dongsaengs.

"INFINITE, it's time!" one of his managers called.

Sunggyu squeezed the younger's hand, and as he stood up, he felt the other squeeze back.

"Let's go!" he shouted animatedly, pulling a happy Sungjong behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> Code blue is a medical term often used to refer to a cardiopulmonary arrest or a heart attack.
> 
> This story was inspired on Sunggyu's weak heart condition. I tried to be as realistic as possible, but since I'm not a medic, any term I use or procedure I follow could be incorrect.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the story. If you find any mistake, please let me know ^-^


End file.
